Sunday, 07 June 2015 06:04

Developing Your Self Esteem Featured

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Developing Your Self Esteem

It takes me less than five seconds to condemn a CV because it is not saleable. I help lots of applicants to fine tone their CV’s. Most time they don’t know they are a product. Just like every product on the shelf of a shop with descriptions on their sleeve, your CV is your product description and here you have your strong selling points. Here you have what makes you as a product different from your competitors. This is the place you express yourself-worth and values. Self-esteem is how we value ourselves; it is how we perceive our value to the world and how valuable we think we are to others. Self-esteem affects our trust in others, our relationships, and our work – nearly every part of our lives. Positive self-esteem gives us the strength and flexibility to take charge of our lives and grow from our mistakes without the fear of rejection.

Self-esteem is about the beliefs you have about yourself – what you think about the type of person you are, your abilities, the positive and negative things about you and what you expect for your future. If you have healthy self-esteem, your beliefs about yourself will generally be positive. You may experience difficult times in your life, but you will generally be able to deal with these without them having too much of a long-term negative impact on you. If you have low self-esteem, your beliefs about yourself will often be negative. You will tend to focus on your weaknesses or mistakes that you have made, and may find it hard to recognise the positive parts of your personality. You may also blame yourself for any difficulties or failures that you have.

Self-esteem reflects a person’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. This is your own evaluation of yourself and not someone else evaluating you. The items on display in a shop have an evaluation which is seen as the price tag. The moment you evaluate yourself unconsciously you tag that evaluation on your personality and people read you, they see what you present and they treat you with the values base on your evaluation. Don’t be surprise on how you are being treated by others. Most times, not all times, you encourage them to treat you the way they do because you show them the price of your evaluation of yourself.

Following are some outward signs of positive self-esteem:
• Confidence
• Self-direction
• Non-blaming behaviour
• An awareness of personal strengths
• An ability to make mistakes and learn from them
• An ability to accept mistakes from others
• Optimism
• An ability to solve problems
• An independent and cooperative attitude
• Feeling comfortable with a wide range of emotions
• An ability to trust others
• A good sense of personal limitations
• Good self-care
• The ability to say no

It is very important if you want to succeed in life to have self-esteem. As an adult if you already have a low self-esteem it could be tough to develop one but it is not impossible. You must be determined to develop your self-esteem meaning you’re aware of your lack, acknowledge your lack of positive self-esteem and are willing to improve on your valuation. Our self-esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self-worth. Our low self-esteem strips us of the self-confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. These feelings do not have to be permanent, however. Improving your self-esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life.

To develop a positive self-esteem you need to learn about self-esteem. You need to acknowledge your scale in respect to having the desired self-esteem and where you’re lacking you need to make the conscious decision to improve on your esteem. Knowing that you have low self-esteem is the first step to improving and overcoming that mental habit. You may have low self-esteem if you have negative thoughts about yourself. These thoughts can revolve around one specific trait, such as your weight or body image, or it can encompass many areas of your life, career, and relationships

There is always a source of your low self-esteem. You need to investigate the source. This is very important if you must improve your valuation. Now you know what’s at stake. You need to set an achievable goal to improve your self-esteem. The key to developing self-esteem is to turn your inner voice from a negative, critical voice to a positive, encouraging voice. Ultimately, you will have to decide to put in the work of re-framing the way you think about yourself. Setting an initial goal to be more positive about yourself will put you on the path to greater self-confidence.

Realize your problem isn’t who you are; it’s what you have used to protect your physical and emotional well-being. It’s hiding who you are: a beautiful human being, a wonderful source of awareness, knowledge, creativity, love and joy. If you practice self-esteem based on the faith that this is who you really are, then your problem will dissolve. You need to figure out who you are. Take self-evaluation quizzes. Learn as much as you can about who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. Self-knowledge is a key to success. You then have to decide what you can and can’t control. Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control. Accept responsibility. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness, and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make.

Because you made mistakes, this doesn’t mean you're not good enough. Kill that kind of thinking, it is negative. I make lots of mistakes and I am not ashamed to say so. You need to recognize that mistakes are opportunities. Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies; rather they are problems you now have the opportunity to solve. “Success,” is often a string of failed attempts to get it right. Compete to improve yourself not to beat someone else.

Always remember that at any time in your life if you let others define who you are, you may not find happiness. Pursue your own dreams and not your parent’s, mates, or your best friend’s. Be brave and take risks. Don’t be afraid of mistakes. Risk-taking builds confidence. When considering any risk: define a clear goal. Review the positive, practical and potential losses. Determine whether the risk is one of trust, identity or something larger. When you focus on risks that have a larger purpose, you can’t go wrong. Even if the risk doesn’t turn out as you hoped it would, you will gain from it. Act. Take a risk. Be confident, you have earned it.

One major ingredient in developing a positive self-esteem is to think and speak positively. If you hear a compliment or positive statements about someone you know pass that compliment on to them. An Arabian proverb puts it neatly: “Blessed is he who speaks a kindness; thrice blessed he who repeats it.”

Learn something new. Create a new hobby. Increase your vocabulary one word a week. Take on a new physical challenge or activity. Spend time investing in your personal growth. This enables joy to flourish amid the fears and difficulties of life. Read self-help books and act on the knowledge. Smile and be courteous. Use the words please and thank you consistently.

Don’t be in a hurry to develop your self-esteem. Take it slow one day at a time so you can be the best you have been created to be. Hurrying can increase anxiety and this could mean you might not achieve your goals. It took many years for you to develop low self-esteem and you can’t erase that overnight because it will take time as well to develop a positive self-esteem. The good news here is the fact that you’re aware of your situation, you have the necessary tools for improving your life and you are now applying these tools. Don’t give up in developing a better life for you. You need this!

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