Sunday, 04 December 2016 09:26

Maintaining Relationships. Featured

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Successful relationships take work. They don’t happen in a vacuum. They occur when those in the relationship take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their hearts and heads. There’s a mutual respect that comes with a friendship that is essential for a successful relationship with anyone. I have some colleagues that have become a very big part of my life in recent years. I have been open to the relationship not just for professional reasons, but because I know that we will achieve so much together in our job if we can trust and respect each other as friends.

Building your relationship on the basis of a friendship can help you learn about them without the added intensity of a relationship. Over the years I have championed many successful teams in various aspects of life using the same model and what they achieved was incredible. We share each others pains and happy moment because we are all in it together. In a group the weakest part of the chain reveals the actual weakness of the group. Everyone is relevant and important.

A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely. The support offered by a caring friend can provide a buffer against the effects of stress. In a study of over 100 people, researchers found that people who completed a stressful task experienced a faster recovery when they were reminded of people with whom they had strong relationships. Those who were reminded of stressful relationships, on the other hand, experienced even more stress and high blood pressure.

According to research by psychologist Sheldon Cohen, college students who reported having strong relationships were half as likely to catch a common cold when exposed to the virus. In addition, a 2012 international Gallup poll found that people who feel they have friends and family to count on are generally more satisfied with their personal health than people who feel isolated. And hanging out with healthy people increases your own likelihood of health. A survey by the National Bureau of Economic Research of 5,000 people found that doubling your group of friends has the same effect on your well being as a 50% increase in income!

Loneliness has long been commonly associated with depression, and now research is backing this correlation up: a 2012 study of breast cancer patients found that those with fewer satisfying social connections experienced higher levels of depression, pain, and fatigue. The authors of the same study also found a correlation between loneliness and immune system dysregulation, meaning that a lack of social connections can increase your chances of becoming sick. University of Chicago researchers who studied a group of 229 adults over five years found that loneliness could predict higher blood pressure even years later, indicating that the effects of isolation have long-lasting consequences.

Parents nurture their children with love and care and when the cycle is full these children also nurture and care for their ageing parents. These can be when a healthy relationship has been maintained. When there is a breakdown in relationship, families are at war with themselves. This affects the unity of the family.

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. It is valuable to be self aware. Relationships are not easy. They mirror everything we feel about ourselves. When you’ve had a bad day, the people around you seem difficult. When you’re not happy with yourself, your relationships seem to be lacking. It is common in any relationship to transfer our aggression. We don’t live in a vacuum. We have thoughts and feelings that can be confusing.

Everyone has personal needs. If someone asks you to do something and your instinct is to honour your own need, do that. I’m not saying you can’t make sacrifices sometimes, but it’s important to make a habit of taking care of yourself. You can’t assist others if your needs are not met. When you give and don’t receive unconsciously you become resentful of those who take from you. Life is all about balance. Be kind, but don’t let people abuse you. Trust, but don’t be deceived. Be content, but never stop improving yourself. Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. What it means to be balance is that more often than not, you feel calm, grounded, clear-headed, and motivated. You are in control no matter what.

To maintain a healthy relationship you should learn to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. People who care about you want you to feel happy, even if sometimes they get too wrapped up in their own problems to show it. These same people will offend you, disappoint you from time to time because they are not angels, they are humans with imperfection. Sometimes they will deliberately hurt you, but you need to be able to analyse the situation and deal with it with clarity. If you need to be angry be angry, but not for the rest of your life. Allow yourself the space to overcome the anger. Some of the people that hurt me the most became my best friends for life. Have an open mind.

In a relationship without boundaries, you let the other person manipulate you into doing things you don’t want to do. You act out of guilt instead of honouring your needs. You let someone offend you without telling them how you feel about it. The best way to ensure people treat you how you want to be treated is to teach them. Maintaining personal boundaries is not a bad.

A Parasite is an organism that grows, feeds, and is sheltered on, or in a different organism, while contributing nothing to the survival of its host. There are some relationships that are parasitic. You need to identify these relationships and walk away while you can. Leeches do not concern themselves with the fact that you don’t want a leech attached to you. They don’t care that you find the entire idea abhorrent. They don’t care if you become, sick, weak, or even die because of their feeding. When you can no longer give them what they want, they will just move on and find another host.

There are people in your life that lack the ability to take care of themselves because they lack the self-discipline to wake up every morning and hold down a job. They believe that they are too good for, or too important for menial work, or they just don’t have the capacity to be responsible and in control of themselves, or their lives. They know they like having a nice house, nice things, good food to eat, and nice cars to drive, but they don’t care to work for it themselves. They leach you with their manipulative techniques and you hand them these things without a fight. Theses human parasites are very clever., they use manipulation techniques, to keep their host right where they want them, under their control, confused, and in denial. You need to prevent parasitic infections and get rid of a parasite when identified.

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