Sunday, 05 March 2017 07:47

Building Self Confidence. Featured

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Self-confidence is the belief in oneself and abilities, it describes an internal state made up of what we think and feel about ourselves.

There are circumstances we can feel very confident and some other we do lack confidence. Our confidence can be influenced by past events and how we remember them. Past success also gives us a boost and increase our confidence level. Self-confidence can refer to how we feel about ourselves and our abilities, whereas self-esteem refers directly to whether or not we appreciate and value ourselves. They both compliment each other. This is why most times they are interchanged when used. You can call it self-confidence, self-esteem, self-respect, self-worth or even self-image and for years, psychologists and behavioural scientists have recognised it as the single, most significant force directing and determining your life toward success or failure, fulfilment or frustration, illness or health.

Imagination is very powerful. It creates your life and who you are. The quality of your life actually reflects the image you have of yourself. Without exception, everything about you, your relationships, your work, your financial position, and even your mental, emotional and physical well-being is powerfully affected by your self-image. How you think of yourself is how you appear to others. You wear a price tag on your forehead that reveals your worth to the people you meet. Changing your thoughts will only work if you truly believe them. You can change your words inside, but if you are still thinking something else, then that is what will come out.

Without a dream, dreams can’t come true. You have to have a dream if you’re going to make a dream come true. Your real value is in your potential, not just in your performance. Values are what is important to us, what we ‘value’, and what gives us purpose. Successful people believe in their own worth, even when they cling to nothing but a dream. They can do this because their own self-worth is stronger than the rejection or acceptance of their ideas by others.
Having self confidence is a journey and not a sprint or a destination. Self confidence is something that can fluctuate if you are not careful. Self confidence is built from childhood and continues to grow or shrink depending on your experience. Your parents helped you to feel worthwhile and competent in mastering childhood tasks. Your self-confidence continued to be nourished through achieving competency in areas important to you.

The entirety of your life is affected and shaped by your self confidence. When things are rough and tough on the outside, you need to tighten up and be great inside as you will need lots of self worth to overcome the challenges outside. If you cannot be defeated in your mind, no matter the challenge on the outside, you will overcome. Your ability to overcome obstacles is enhanced if you have high self-confidence.

You are who you think you are. That’s why it pays to think great. If you want to improve your life, try something new and follow through. All attempts you make give you practice toward your goal. Even if you fail, don’t give up. Life is a learning curve and the more you learn, the more confident you will be.

Early experiences are influential in achieving a healthy level of self-esteem. If you are fortunate and had relatively favourable conditions and experiences whilst you are growing up, you are likely to develop a healthy self-esteem and become confident. However, if the conditions and experiences are mainly negative you are more likely to experience difficulties developing your confidence. Some of the negative messages you have received will have been internalised and become part of what you think and feel about yourself.

The impact of having low confidence and self-esteem varies greatly and can range from only impacting in one specific setting to being very restricted and debilitating. Low self-confidence can result in shyness, communication difficulties, social anxiety and lack of assertiveness.
Characteristics of having a low self esteem include:
1. Social withdrawal.
2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil.
3. Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness.
4. Less social conformity.
5. Eating disorders.
6. Inability to accept compliments.
7. An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself.
8. Accentuating the negative.
9. Exaggerated concern over what you imagine other people think.
10. Self neglect.
11. Treating yourself badly, but NOT other people.
12. Worrying whether you have treated others badly.
13. Reluctance to take on challenges.
14. Reluctance to put yourself first or anywhere.
15. Reluctance to trust your own opinion
16. Expecting little out of life for yourself.


To build self confidence, you need to accept or acknowledge your lack of self confidence. If you live in denial you might not conquer. You need to get yourself ready for the journey. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it. You need to groom yourself. You need the right feelings. Don’t take things for granted. Appreciate everything no matter how little they may seem.

Dress nicely. If you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Dressing nicely means something different for everyone. It doesn’t necessarily mean wearing an expensive outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.

Having a positive self-image can be difficult, especially if one is affected by life’s hardships, such as a disability, poor health, or financial or other major problems. But there are things you can do to improve your self-image and self-esteem. These things can, in turn, improve other aspects of your life.

Self-image is how you perceive yourself. It is a number of self-impressions that have built up over time: What are your hopes and dreams? What do you think and feel? What have you done throughout your life and what did you want to do? These self-images can be very positive, giving a person confidence in their thoughts and actions, or negative, making a person doubtful of their capabilities and ideas.

Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realise. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it’s not a very good one, change it. Photoshop your self-image. Use paint brush to enhance your image.

Your thoughts are very important. Kill negative thoughts and think positive, progressing thoughts that will give you the advantage to overcome setbacks. You get to know yourself to give you an advantage. Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s hard to be confident in yourself if you don’t think you’ll do well at something. Get prepared. Think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself.

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