The Sure Word for Today's quotation for the week:
God Restores My Soul.
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Conflict Resolution — Part 7.
A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 (KJV).
The guideline we got from Jesus on how to deal with conflict are:
- Quickly
- Face to face
- One on one
- Get help
So, when you have an issue with another person, deal with it quickly. Meet with them face to face. You might argue that the only means of communication in that era were face to face. Not true. They use the seal and image citations. With face to face confrontation, emotions are communicated. When talking face-to-face, your tone of voice, facial expression and posture all communicate. It allows for a healthier exchange of information since both speaker and listener can see and interpret body language and facial expressions.
In Mathew 18:15, it is one to one, between the two of you and no third party. These days some people will report you to the pastor or to someone in authority first. You have no clue they have issues with you. No matter how dressed and spiritualised, it is wrong to complain about someone else before you talk to the person in question. Sometimes we even raise prayer points. "Please pray for my relationship with Jefferson. He is being such a jerk…"
The only time you can be exempted from the rule is when you talk to God about the conflict, which is a necessary step in resolving conflict. First, pray about the conflict, hand the burden unto the Lord, seek wisdom and guidance with the Lord, collaborate with the Holy Spirit. Come into God’s presence with humility. Ask God for wisdom to help you identify the areas you are wrong to own them and address it before speaking with the other person. Then talk to the other person and don’t be a gossip. Speaking about them to someone else without first speaking to them is gossip. Gossip can destroy a connection that was meant to break strongholds.
If, after speaking to the other person, there is no resolution, then get help (ref. Matthew 18:16-17). Jesus has laid down the biblical system for escalation of the conflict. First, look for someone trusted, a mutual friend who can mediate your dispute. If they cannot resolve the conflict, you must seek someone at the next level you can go to.
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All Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the HOLY BIBLE unless otherwise indicated.
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