The Sure Word for Today's quotation for the week:
God Gave Me Wisdom.
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The Positive Power of Conflict — Part 7.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8 (KJV).
The key to any successful conflict resolution is the ability to listen. I have made lots of mistakes in this area and became conscious, but that does not mean I don’t make a mistake anymore. The difference is I recognise when I have and apologise to the other party even if they are making the same mistake with me as we are both not listening. All the time, they accept my apology, and in most cases, they conclude my apologies are an admittance that I was wrong, and they are right. They do not understand that we are in conflict because we have different opinions, understandings, views and perspectives on the issue at hand.
When your only desire is to win and not learn from the conflict, it becomes challenging. I ask a lot of questions. I do because I want to understand the situation. Most time, you will think doing this will open up the other person. Nope! They feel intimidated, and this is like an attack on them. This could be because they lack self-confidence. I usually will back down because I can see clearly that I am making them uncomfortable, which is not my intention. Successful relationships and negotiations cannot be forged with defensive, dominating people. Once they are defensive, I must back out and see if there is another way we can resolve the conflict.
Listening takes patience. You need the discipline to control your impulses to speak. You must put your feelings, your ego, your thoughts, and opinions to one side so you can fully take in their perspective. Listening must be active and not passive if you are genuinely listening. Listening gives you access to the information you need to make intelligent and lucrative decisions. Listening allows you to look within yourself and become aware of the barriers that hinder your ability to listen effectively.
Listening is an attitude of the heart. The biggest communication problem is that you do not listen to understand. You hear only to reply..
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All Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the HOLY BIBLE unless otherwise indicated.
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