Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.
I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.
Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.
To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.
When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.
In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.
The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.
Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success. It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.
There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.
Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.
When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure. Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this? Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.
Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.
Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.
31658 comments
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 03:35
posted by jordan shoes
Needed to compose you that very small word so as to thank you the moment again with the fantastic thoughts you've featured here. This is quite remarkably open-handed of you to make publicly precisely what a few individuals would have supplied for an electronic book to get some cash for their own end, certainly since you might well have tried it in case you desired. The thoughts likewise acted as a easy way to know that other people have similar fervor similar to mine to figure out a whole lot more in respect of this matter. I'm sure there are numerous more enjoyable situations in the future for folks who read carefully your site.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:37
posted by golden goose outlet
I not to mention my guys were actually reading through the best advice from your web site while all of a sudden got a terrible feeling I had not thanked you for them. Those men are actually totally joyful to learn them and have in effect seriously been tapping into them. Appreciation for truly being so thoughtful and then for opting for this form of awesome information millions of individuals are really desirous to understand about. My very own sincere regret for not expressing gratitude to you earlier.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:07
posted by steph curry shoes
I needed to create you the bit of observation to be able to give many thanks yet again relating to the precious tips you've shown on this website. This has been quite surprisingly open-handed with people like you to grant easily precisely what most of us could have distributed as an e-book to end up making some money for themselves, specifically now that you could possibly have done it in case you wanted. These tips also acted as a easy way to fully grasp the rest have similar interest similar to my personal own to know more and more related to this problem. I am certain there are several more pleasant situations up front for individuals that read your site.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:07
posted by kobe sneakers
I wish to point out my affection for your kindness supporting those people who really need guidance on this important field. Your special commitment to passing the solution along appears to be astonishingly important and has in every case allowed somebody much like me to arrive at their aims. This informative tutorial can mean a whole lot to me and further more to my office colleagues. Regards; from everyone of us.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:07
posted by yeezy 380
I really wanted to send a comment to express gratitude to you for the precious tips and hints you are giving here. My extensive internet lookup has at the end been compensated with pleasant content to go over with my best friends. I would point out that we visitors are rather lucky to live in a very good website with very many brilliant individuals with beneficial plans. I feel rather privileged to have seen the weblog and look forward to many more fabulous minutes reading here. Thanks again for a lot of things.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:07
posted by supreme outlet
I simply wanted to send a quick word in order to appreciate you for these nice tips and hints you are showing on this website. My time consuming internet lookup has at the end been recognized with excellent points to write about with my friends. I would say that many of us website visitors are definitely blessed to dwell in a magnificent community with very many perfect individuals with helpful ideas. I feel extremely happy to have come across your entire site and look forward to many more amazing moments reading here. Thanks once more for everything.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:07
posted by lebron james shoes
I happen to be commenting to let you understand what a helpful discovery my wife's girl gained viewing your blog. She discovered a lot of things, which include what it is like to have an ideal coaching mindset to have many others without difficulty fully grasp various multifaceted topics. You really surpassed our own expectations. I appreciate you for producing the informative, trusted, educational and also easy guidance on that topic to Lizeth.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:06
posted by kobe shoes
I and also my buddies ended up looking through the excellent helpful hints on your website and before long I got a horrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the blog owner for those tips. These women ended up so excited to read them and now have clearly been tapping into these things. Thank you for turning out to be really accommodating and then for having such impressive ideas millions of individuals are really eager to be informed on. My honest regret for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:06
posted by kyrie irving shoes
I wish to express some appreciation to you for bailing me out of such a difficulty. After surfing through the the web and getting tips which were not powerful, I believed my entire life was well over. Living without the presence of solutions to the problems you've fixed as a result of this website is a serious case, as well as the kind which could have in a negative way affected my career if I had not encountered your web site. Your good training and kindness in playing with a lot of things was very helpful. I am not sure what I would've done if I hadn't come upon such a point like this. I can also at this point look forward to my future. Thanks a lot very much for this skilled and effective help. I won't hesitate to recommend the website to any individual who needs recommendations about this problem.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 09 May 2022 01:06
posted by yeezy 700
I have to point out my affection for your generosity for persons who must have help with that topic. Your very own dedication to getting the solution all over became amazingly productive and have in most cases allowed employees like me to attain their desired goals. Your own invaluable tutorial entails a lot to me and far more to my colleagues. Thanks a lot; from all of us.