Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.
I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.
Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.
To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.
When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.
In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.
The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.
Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success. It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.
There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.
Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.
When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure. Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this? Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.
Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.
Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.
31584 comments
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 21:17
posted by chrome hearts
Thank you so much for giving everyone an extremely pleasant chance to read critical reviews from this blog. It is often very useful plus stuffed with a great time for me personally and my office co-workers to search your web site minimum 3 times in one week to read through the fresh issues you have got. And of course, I'm also always fulfilled concerning the brilliant tips served by you. Selected 4 areas on this page are definitely the most impressive I've had.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 20:51
posted by kobe 11
Thanks for your entire effort on this web page. Debby really likes going through investigations and it's really simple to grasp why. Almost all learn all relating to the dynamic means you present informative things by means of your blog and therefore boost participation from some others on that point and our own girl has been discovering a great deal. Take pleasure in the rest of the year. You're carrying out a dazzling job.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 20:48
posted by jordan 1 off white
I want to get across my passion for your generosity in support of people who need guidance on this one niche. Your personal commitment to getting the solution along had been exceedingly interesting and have always encouraged people much like me to get to their endeavors. The useful recommendations implies this much a person like me and much more to my office workers. With thanks; from all of us.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 19:41
posted by yeezy
Thanks a lot for providing individuals with an exceptionally spectacular chance to check tips from this site. It is often very great and as well , stuffed with a great time for me personally and my office mates to search the blog no less than thrice weekly to learn the newest things you have. Not to mention, I am just at all times contented for the spectacular secrets you give. Some 2 ideas in this post are unquestionably the most suitable I have ever had.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 19:11
posted by supreme shirt
I precisely had to appreciate you yet again. I'm not certain the things that I might have implemented without the type of secrets shown by you concerning such area of interest. It absolutely was the alarming crisis for me, nevertheless encountering a professional technique you solved that forced me to jump for happiness. Extremely happy for this work and as well , sincerely hope you really know what a powerful job that you're doing teaching the rest all through a site. Probably you've never met all of us.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 18:36
posted by kyrie irving shoes
My spouse and i have been really contented when Ervin could finish up his homework through the precious recommendations he got from your very own web page. It's not at all simplistic to just continually be releasing thoughts which usually people today could have been selling. And we discover we have the blog owner to thank for that. The type of illustrations you have made, the simple blog menu, the friendships you will aid to instill - it's got many superb, and it is making our son and the family understand that topic is enjoyable, which is certainly extraordinarily serious. Thank you for the whole lot!
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 15:33
posted by Ennswrarf
canadian pharmacy viagra 50 mg how much is viagra uk
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 11:29
posted by bape clothing
I precisely needed to thank you very much all over again. I do not know the things I could possibly have handled without those recommendations discussed by you relating to such situation. It became an absolute difficult setting in my circumstances, but viewing a new specialised fashion you treated it made me to cry with delight. Extremely happier for this guidance and in addition pray you realize what an amazing job you are providing teaching many others by way of your site. Most likely you have never encountered all of us.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 10:05
posted by kd13
I definitely wanted to construct a simple remark in order to say thanks to you for all of the magnificent concepts you are sharing at this site. My time intensive internet research has now been honored with extremely good ideas to go over with my friends and classmates. I would mention that we website visitors actually are truly fortunate to exist in a perfect site with very many marvellous individuals with beneficial advice. I feel quite fortunate to have discovered your entire web pages and look forward to tons of more exciting minutes reading here. Thanks again for a lot of things.
-
Comment Link
Wednesday, 20 April 2022 06:55
posted by supreme
I precisely wished to thank you so much once again. I do not know the things I would've made to happen in the absence of those creative concepts documented by you directly on this concern. It truly was an absolute horrifying situation for me personally, but looking at the well-written fashion you dealt with that made me to cry over delight. I'm happier for the advice and in addition expect you know what a great job you're undertaking teaching the rest using your blog. I am sure you've never encountered all of us.