Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.
I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.
Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.
To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.
When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.
In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.
The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.
Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success. It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.
There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.
Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.
When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure. Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this? Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.
Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.
Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.
34576 comments
-
Comment Link
Tuesday, 31 May 2022 05:19
posted by hermes belts
I as well as my pals were actually reading through the best advice on your web site and so the sudden I got a terrible suspicion I never thanked the website owner for them. Most of the young boys were for that reason joyful to read all of them and have in effect clearly been taking pleasure in them. We appreciate you turning out to be really thoughtful and also for considering these kinds of fantastic resources most people are really wanting to learn about. Our own sincere apologies for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.
-
Comment Link
Tuesday, 31 May 2022 05:19
posted by giannis shoes
Thanks so much for giving everyone an extremely remarkable possiblity to read critical reviews from this site. It is always so enjoyable and full of a lot of fun for me personally and my office acquaintances to visit your site not less than three times a week to read through the newest things you will have. And definitely, I am just certainly fascinated for the breathtaking advice served by you. Some 3 tips in this article are easily the best we have ever had.
-
Comment Link
Tuesday, 31 May 2022 05:19
posted by yeezy supply
Thanks a lot for providing individuals with a very remarkable possiblity to check tips from this website. It is usually very sweet and full of a great time for me personally and my office mates to search the blog a minimum of 3 times in 7 days to read the latest items you have. And lastly, we are at all times happy for the fabulous methods you serve. Some 3 tips in this posting are particularly the most efficient we've had.
-
Comment Link
Tuesday, 31 May 2022 05:19
posted by yeezy boost 700
My spouse and i have been so glad Ervin could deal with his analysis from your ideas he gained while using the weblog. It is now and again perplexing to simply possibly be offering solutions many people have been trying to sell. We really acknowledge we have the website owner to thank for that. The entire illustrations you made, the simple blog menu, the friendships you can help to promote - it's got most extraordinary, and it's aiding our son and us consider that this topic is satisfying, which is certainly seriously serious. Thank you for the whole thing!
-
Comment Link
Tuesday, 31 May 2022 05:19
posted by curry 7 shoes
I am glad for commenting to let you understand what a outstanding discovery my friend's daughter found visiting your webblog. She learned too many pieces, not to mention what it's like to possess a great coaching mindset to have other folks very easily know just exactly certain tricky topics. You truly exceeded people's desires. Thanks for giving the warm and friendly, safe, explanatory not to mention easy guidance on your topic to Kate.
-
Comment Link
Tuesday, 31 May 2022 02:53
posted by off white outlet
I actually wanted to write down a note so as to appreciate you for the magnificent secrets you are sharing at this site. My long internet lookup has at the end been compensated with professional facts and techniques to share with my co-workers. I 'd state that that many of us readers actually are extremely endowed to exist in a very good community with so many marvellous individuals with beneficial pointers. I feel really grateful to have encountered your entire web site and look forward to many more fun moments reading here. Thank you again for all the details.
-
Comment Link
Tuesday, 31 May 2022 00:50
posted by golden goose shoes
I enjoy you because of all your valuable efforts on this blog. Kate delights in getting into research and it is obvious why. Most people know all concerning the powerful mode you deliver priceless things on this web blog and as well boost response from website visitors about this content so our own daughter is without a doubt understanding so much. Have fun with the rest of the year. Your performing a really good job.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 30 May 2022 22:07
posted by kd shoes
I wanted to put you that little bit of note so as to thank you so much yet again just for the precious tricks you've featured above. This has been certainly surprisingly generous with people like you to provide unhampered all a lot of people might have made available for an e book to help make some dough for their own end, specifically now that you might have tried it in the event you decided. The basics likewise worked to provide a good way to fully grasp some people have the identical zeal similar to my own to know good deal more in regard to this condition. I think there are some more enjoyable situations up front for those who looked over your website.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 30 May 2022 21:19
posted by jordan shoes
I am only commenting to let you know what a excellent experience my cousin's daughter gained reading your webblog. She even learned a wide variety of things, which included what it is like to possess a wonderful helping nature to let others just grasp specific tricky subject areas. You really surpassed her desires. I appreciate you for imparting the insightful, trustworthy, edifying and as well as easy guidance on the topic to Ethel.
-
Comment Link
Monday, 30 May 2022 17:01
posted by off white
I simply wanted to construct a small word to appreciate you for some of the great advice you are giving at this site. My time consuming internet search has now been recognized with incredibly good strategies to share with my close friends. I 'd mention that we website visitors are unequivocally endowed to be in a notable site with many outstanding individuals with insightful suggestions. I feel really happy to have discovered your entire webpages and look forward to really more enjoyable minutes reading here. Thanks once more for all the details.