Print this page
Sunday, 05 November 2017 04:57

Handling Failure. Featured

Written by
Rate this item
(0 votes)

Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.

I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.

Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.

To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.

When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.

In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.

The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.

Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success.  It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.

There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.

Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.

When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure.  Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this?  Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.

Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.

Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.

34456 comments

  • Comment Link kyrie irving shoes Thursday, 19 May 2022 01:32 posted by kyrie irving shoes

    I definitely wanted to develop a quick message so as to say thanks to you for those fantastic ideas you are posting at this website. My extended internet investigation has at the end of the day been compensated with pleasant know-how to talk about with my family and friends. I 'd admit that we readers actually are unquestionably fortunate to be in a good community with so many marvellous people with interesting secrets. I feel extremely lucky to have discovered your web page and look forward to tons of more entertaining minutes reading here. Thanks a lot once again for a lot of things.

  • Comment Link yeezy Thursday, 19 May 2022 01:32 posted by yeezy

    I together with my guys happened to be looking through the nice secrets on your web site and so quickly came up with a terrible feeling I had not thanked the web blog owner for those tips. All of the boys are actually absolutely passionate to read through them and now have in fact been using these things. Thank you for getting indeed accommodating as well as for using certain wonderful topics most people are really wanting to discover. My very own sincere regret for not saying thanks to earlier.

  • Comment Link lebron 18 Thursday, 19 May 2022 01:32 posted by lebron 18

    Thank you for all of your hard work on this blog. My mum loves engaging in investigation and it's easy to understand why. Almost all notice all concerning the compelling means you offer invaluable things through the website and even welcome participation from visitors on the matter while our own daughter has always been studying a lot of things. Have fun with the remaining portion of the new year. You have been conducting a powerful job.

  • Comment Link jordan retro Thursday, 19 May 2022 01:32 posted by jordan retro

    I precisely desired to thank you so much once again. I am not sure the things that I might have undertaken in the absence of the type of advice provided by you over my topic. It was a frustrating situation for me personally, but looking at this expert technique you handled the issue made me to leap for contentment. I'm grateful for the advice and thus expect you find out what a powerful job you are always carrying out training the rest via your web page. Most probably you haven't got to know any of us.

  • Comment Link hermes online Thursday, 19 May 2022 01:32 posted by hermes online

    Needed to post you this little bit of word to finally thank you very much yet again relating to the pleasing strategies you have documented at this time. This has been extremely generous of you to deliver easily just what a lot of people could have supplied as an ebook to make some money on their own, particularly since you might have done it if you ever considered necessary. Those principles additionally worked as a fantastic way to realize that many people have similar eagerness just as my very own to realize a great deal more in regard to this problem. I'm sure there are a lot more pleasurable periods in the future for individuals who scan your website.

  • Comment Link a bathing ape Thursday, 19 May 2022 01:32 posted by a bathing ape

    I simply had to appreciate you once more. I am not sure the things that I would've tried in the absence of those information shown by you directly on such a concern. It actually was the alarming circumstance in my circumstances, but viewing a skilled approach you treated that made me to leap for joy. Now i am thankful for this guidance as well as expect you really know what a great job that you're getting into educating others using a blog. I know that you've never got to know any of us.

  • Comment Link hermes Thursday, 19 May 2022 01:32 posted by hermes

    Thanks a lot for providing individuals with an exceptionally nice possiblity to read in detail from this blog. It's always very beneficial plus stuffed with a good time for me personally and my office colleagues to visit your site at the very least 3 times weekly to study the new things you will have. And of course, I am just usually contented considering the fantastic tips served by you. Certain 2 tips on this page are in fact the best we have all ever had.

  • Comment Link WnbhLiert Wednesday, 18 May 2022 23:01 posted by WnbhLiert

    levitra preis apotheke levitra patient assistance https://glevitrargu.com/

  • Comment Link NndenUnsub Wednesday, 18 May 2022 21:12 posted by NndenUnsub

    levitra strengths how to get levitra https://xclevitradb.com/

  • Comment Link kyrie 4 Wednesday, 18 May 2022 21:03 posted by kyrie 4

    Thank you a lot for giving everyone an extraordinarily splendid chance to check tips from this site. It really is very good and packed with amusement for me personally and my office mates to visit your web site a minimum of 3 times in a week to study the new guidance you have got. Of course, we are usually motivated with all the brilliant ideas you give. Selected 4 points in this post are without a doubt the most efficient we've had.