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The Mirror Effect

 Why have you refused to reach your potential? Am I wrong to say it is because you do not believe in yourself? I am right. Yes, I think I am. You have low self-esteem.

So, what is wrong with you?
Why do you not believe in yourself?
What is your excuse this time?
Why is there even an excuse?

I look at you, and I am seeing more than a million possibilities that you are making it. I did not say you will make it because it has gone beyond that. You are in progress, but the only limitation I see here is your mindset.

I had a conversation with a female friend. She was narrating the problems another friend of ours was going through because of her husband. I had to stop her when she said our collective friend has a problem. I don't think she has a problem. I think her husband is the one with the situation. Soon, she would have accumulated enough knowledge about her situation, and she will start asking questions which is what she is doing now. Soon she will understand the issues at hand, and she will discover she's being abused. At this point, some people will tell you that they know their rights. Knowledge is power. The moment she finds who she is, she will act. The moment she understands she is being abused and the husband is in real trouble. I have seen this same drama play a million times in different scenarios.

The single most significant key to your behaviour is your self-esteem. It's impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with how you see yourself. You can positively do very few things if you feel negative about yourself. No factor is more critical in your psychological development and motivation than the value judgments you make about yourself. Every aspect of your life is impacted by the way you see yourself. If you believe you are worthless, then you won't add value to yourself. No factor is more critical in your psychological development and motivation than the value judgments you make about yourself. You will be unable to out-perform your self-image.

Self-esteem, also known as self-worth and self-respect, is the opinion you have about yourself. It is magical because the way you share your worthiness with others is through your attitude, behaviour, character, and mannerism. In psychology, your self-esteem is used to describe your sense of self-worth or personal value. In other words, it is how much you like yourself. Your self-esteem involves various beliefs about yourself, such as how you look, how you feel and how you gauge your personal successes or failures.

If you have healthy self-esteem, you are likely to feel optimistic about your abilities and have a sunnier approach to life, in general. Whereas if you have low self-esteem, studies have linked poor self-image with various problems that can affect everything from the way you view your life, your career, your endeavours, and how you conduct your relationships. If you feel negative about yourself or your life to the extent that it's impacting your ability to function, I recommend speaking to your GP or considering talking therapy.

Self-esteem is the degree to which you feel confident, valuable, and worthy of respect. It exists on a continuum from high to low. Where a person's self-esteem falls on this spectrum can influence one's overall well-being. People with high self-esteem often feel good about themselves and their progress through life. People with low self-esteem often feel shame and self-doubt. They often spend lots of time criticising themselves. Low self-esteem is a symptom of several mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression. People with low self-esteem are likely to have a downgrading opinion of themselves.

People will always value you to the extent you love yourself. Stop making every issue about them. You were the one that placed the price tag on your forehead, and they saw the value you gave yourself; hence they devalued you. They did not disvalue you because you are not valuable, but they did because you informed them you are not valuable. If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured the world will not raise the price. If you want to become the person you have the potential to be, you must believe you can.

The moment you limit what you will do, you have eventually limited what you can do. One of the reasons you have low self-esteem is because you have some limiting beliefs. You must move beyond your limiting beliefs if your desire is to be successful in life. If you don't believe you can accomplish anything, then you won't. Prayer cannot change this fact. You need to renew your mind and change the thoughts in your mind for prayer to influence your desires. Low self-esteem can contribute to mental health concerns. Low self-esteem has long-term damaging effects.

The mirror effect reflects oneself through the gaze of others. It is used in education as a metacognition tool and as a vector of knowledge. The mirror effect can be obtained directly from another person through observation, listening to his or her comments, or watching a video. Mirroring is the behaviours in which one person unconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude. The ability to mimic another person's actions allows the infant to establish a sense of empathy and thus begin to understand another person's emotions.

The Law of the Mirror proposes that the origin of our negative feelings towards another person is within our "heart" and not in the other person. What this law teaches us is that emotions are born from within ourselves. Anger is usually born towards oneself and not towards the other person.
The mirror effect is about the value you see in yourself to add value to yourself. The general attitude about life is the fact that people invest in what is valuable. When last did you invest in yourself? You are not investing in yourself because you have not seen the value in yourself. How can you add value to others if you don't have value or have not added value to yourself? In life, you cannot give to others what you don't have.

In life, you tend to get whatever you are willing to tolerate. If you allow others to disrespect you and trip all over you, you will be disrespected in magnitude more than you anticipate. If you accept abuse, you will be abused. If you think it is OK to be overworked and underpaid, then your prayers will be answered. If you want to feel valued, you must add value to others. Learn to live a valued centred life.

Contributing to other people and adding value to their lives is the tangible means to gain another person's buy-in, and through this means you will get others to believe in you. For apparent reasons, this is important in many facets of life: leadership, friendships, relationships, connecting with new people, and especially with your family. If you want people to respect and regard you, then you must add value to their lives—otherwise, you're just dead weight.

Jefferson O Imgbi

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