The Sure Word for Today's quotation for the week:
God Restores My Soul.
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Conflict Resolution — Part 5.
A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 (KJV).
The most commonly reported significant contributors to divorce are:
1. Money problems
2. Interfering ex-partners
3. Affairs
4. Differences in sexual libido
5. Children from previous relationships
6. Intrusive parents
7. Privacy problems
8. Differences in communication
9. The difference in how you resolve conflict
Some of the commonly reported major contributors to divorce does not apply to you, but there is one at least. I am more interested in “Differences in Communication” and “Difference in how you resolve conflict.” The statistic shows that more people are getting a divorce. Many couples that would have previously remained married now chose divorce. Research also shows that couples that live together before marriage are more likely to divorce. Hmm!
Communication is not mere talking. Communication is the act of developing meaning among entities or groups through sufficiently mutually understood signs, symbols, and semiotic conventions. Couples that talk but do not communicate with each other makes lots of assumptions. They make a sound that is nonsense with no meaning and assumes they have communicated. Your message must be understood for there to be communication. Communication is defined as transferring information to produce greater understanding.
If someone has grown up in a family where bickering is very common and are in a relationship with someone who does not like or use to arguing, this can produce difficulty. Since the couples have different ways of solving problems, likely, these problems will never get resolved. It all boils down to understanding each other. Communication is meant to foster understanding; that is why couples communicate.
Making assumptions cause untold stress. It can destroy your relationships and even prevent you from having the kind of loving relationships you desire. Assumptions are the termites of relationships. An assumption is believing something is true without evidence. If you make an assumption, then it becomes a filter. Everything your partner does or says after that will be experienced through that filter. The longer that goes on, the more potentially false information you will be holding on to. The more complicated it will be returning to the authentic conversation, interaction or relationship. As such, you are no longer in a relationship with your partner. You are in a relationship with your assumptions.
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All Scripture quotations are taken from the King James Version of the HOLY BIBLE unless otherwise indicated.
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