Sunday, 01 December 2019 04:16

The Expert Saboteur — Part 2 Featured

Written by
Rate this item
(0 votes)

The self-saboteur has no clue of how reckless they are because they are not aware of what they are doing wrong. Others may want to avoid being around them because they unconsciously focus on the negative and not the positive. They usually manifest their sabotaging nature when they achieve something great. Rather than celebrating the achievement, they allow at least one event they are not satisfied with to consume them.

The self-saboteur may appear like they are bold, but most times they are consumed by fear and this fear wrecks havoc in their life. The fear develops into mistrust, anxiety, worry, hopelessness, and other negative emotions. They get paralysed, and this hinders their progress in life. The gripped of fear makes them powerless. The fear becomes the greatest obstacle to their success in life. The self-saboteur misses a lot of opportunities because they focus on the past. Some live in past glory; others concentrate on past failures. They are being sucked by the past, so much so they cannot move forward.

When Unai Emery replaced Arsene Wenger in Arsenal football club, he went on a 22 match on-beaten run through how he sets his team up and how his substitutions were perfect. With time I observed that he was sabotaging his overall goal. Sometimes he selects a starting team that is winning, and then he makes wrong substitution that destroys the momentum of his team. Other times he chooses a starting line-up that is appalling. They struggle and he makes the right substitution to bring them back to the game. In the next match you will think he has learnt a lesson or two, but he repeats the same mistake differently.

The fourth round of the Carabao Cup between Liverpool FC and Arsenal FC  on 30 October 2019, was a classic example where Unai Emery demonstrated his expertise in self-sabotaging. In the cause of the season he took his best player out of the squad criticising the player of not working hard enough to earn a place. Mesut Ozil’s not working hard enough is far superior to any other player that plays his position. You need him in the squad.

Mesut Ozil was brought back from exile to start the match, and he controlled the game. The Arsenal fans saw their magician in action. Mesut created more goal scoring chances in one night. With 25 minutes left and the score at 4-4, Unai Emery decided to replace oil. The change killed the momentum and intensity of the squad. Their attack was no longer intricate. They were all over the place.

Liverpool came back from 3-1 down, all the way back to 4-4 and then 5-5. Liverpool won by penalties. Everyone could see replacing Mesut Ozil was the worst decision. Unai Emery handed the match to Liverpool at this point on a platter of gold. He was self-destructive.  He demolished the winning mentality of his team by setting them not to lose and yet so they can win. They lost the freedom they played moving the ball. You will attract the things you fear most. Arsenal lost because they were afraid to fail. In his own words, Emery is exceptionally self-critical. He is a man who reads self-help books to improve, trusting in learning processes and personal development rather than relying on pure instincts.

Self-sabotage entails behaviours or thoughts that keep you away from what you desire most in life. Your subconscious probably sees self-sabotage as self-preservation; a way to safeguard and defend yourself, even when not necessary. Some of your self-sabotage is so subtle it’s easy to miss. You often fail to recognise how your actions are hurting you. The first step to breaking the cycle of self-sabotage is becoming aware of these behaviours. Try looking at your behaviours as an outsider. What self-destructive habits, patterns and mindsets are holding you back?

Here are some signs of self-saboteur:

  1. Giving up on yourself
  2. Unable to see the bigger picture
  3. Self-depreciation
  4. Self-destruction
  5. Drawing up a negative conclusion
  6. Eternalising your feelings, then blaming others
  7. Too critical of others
  8. Freezing
  9. Running away
  10. Hiding
  11. Not acting
  12. Acting to your disadvantage
  13. Not asking
  14. Performing below your capabilities
  15. Procrastinating
  16. Picking fights you shouldn’t
  17. Injuries (not all of them)
  18. “Accidents” (not all of them)
  19. Self-harm
  20. Not showing up
  21. Sleeping in
  22. Being late
  23. Suffering from internal conflicts
  24. Drowning in self-pity
  25. Not standing up for yourself
  26. Indecisiveness
  27. Temper issues
  28. Excessive worrying
  29. Negative habits
  30. Being isolated
  31. Emotional eating
  32. Impulsive spending
  33. Self-sacrifice
  34. Inadequacy, and a feeling of low self-worth
  35. Hopelessness
  36. Helplessness
  37. Overwhelming yourself
  38. Jumping to conclusions
  39. Self-labelling
  40. Undervaluing the reward you deserve
  41. Perfectionism
  42. Fear of failure and looking stupid and or unattractive
  43. Fear of success
  44. Fear of disapproval and criticism
  45. Coercion and resentment
  46. Low frustration tolerance
  47. Guilt and self-blame
  48. Shame
  49. Confusing strength with manipulation and evil acts
  50. Assuming that disaster will befall you if you act
  51. Having the feeling of something terrible happening to you (you will lose a job or person)
  52. God will punish you for an action
  53. You are paranoid or extremely jealous
  54. You criticise everything
  55. You always tear yourself down

To end self-sabotage, you need to take a good, hard look at yourself and your behaviour patterns. You must be honest with yourself and face all the ways you may have abused or hurt other people because of your fear of intimacy.  Therapy is the first step many take to end their self-sabotaging patterns. A professional can help you identify your behaviours, dig to the root of your issues, and find new, healthier ways to behave.

In general, a few things are essential to uncover when ending self-sabotage. You need to be honest to yourself and identify your self-sabotaging tendency so you can identify the root and deal with it. To stop self-sabotage, you first need to recognise your self-sabotaging behaviours. Self-sabotaging behaviour often stems from feelings of anxiety, anger and worthlessness. Understand the emotions that lead to your sabotaging. You need to spot the emotions or behaviour that causes you to sabotage yourself. As you become aware of the negative emotions, behaviours and thoughts that trigger self-sabotage, you can begin to challenge them.

You must be willing to challenge any form of negative thinking with logical and positive affirmations. You must turn your assumptions around and gain some much-needed perspective. When you have identified and begun to defeat the false rationale for your self-sabotaging behaviours, you can start to rebuild your self-esteem. Consider the following questions:

  • What can you say to yourself that is positive or encouraging?
  • What options do you have? Is there more than one way to achieve your goal?
  • Can you build self-confidence by setting and achieving smaller goals, on your way to achieving the bigger ones?

Self-sabotage is behaviour that undermines your success despite your wishes, dreams or values. Don’t stand in your way. Your only limit is you. Don’t limit yourself.

4643 comments

  • Comment Link off white Monday, 03 January 2022 13:08 posted by off white

    Thanks for all your efforts on this web page. Kim takes pleasure in getting into investigation and it's easy to see why. A lot of people learn all relating to the compelling tactic you make practical items through your web site and even improve participation from some others on the point plus my princess is truly studying a lot of things. Take advantage of the remaining portion of the new year. You're carrying out a remarkable job.

  • Comment Link yeezy 350 Monday, 03 January 2022 13:08 posted by yeezy 350

    My wife and i felt cheerful Michael managed to complete his homework by way of the precious recommendations he came across from your blog. It is now and again perplexing just to continually be handing out secrets and techniques which often people today might have been selling. And we all already know we have you to give thanks to for this. The illustrations you've made, the easy web site menu, the friendships you can assist to instill - it's got all fabulous, and it is helping our son and our family feel that that topic is fun, which is certainly quite serious. Thank you for the whole lot!

  • Comment Link jordan 6 Monday, 03 January 2022 13:08 posted by jordan 6

    I simply desired to say thanks yet again. I am not sure what I might have gone through in the absence of these solutions shared by you concerning my area of interest. It previously was the alarming case in my position, nevertheless encountering this skilled tactic you handled it forced me to cry over fulfillment. I'm just happy for your support and wish you find out what an amazing job you are putting in instructing the rest via your webpage. I am certain you have never encountered any of us.

  • Comment Link moncler outlet Monday, 03 January 2022 13:08 posted by moncler outlet

    I have to point out my admiration for your generosity giving support to folks that really need guidance on this important theme. Your very own dedication to getting the message throughout turned out to be extraordinarily powerful and have consistently made associates like me to reach their dreams. Your new useful recommendations means a great deal a person like me and additionally to my fellow workers. Thank you; from everyone of us.

  • Comment Link off white nike Monday, 03 January 2022 13:08 posted by off white nike

    Needed to compose you one bit of observation to be able to give thanks once again with your awesome ideas you have shown above. This has been so pretty open-handed of you to supply unreservedly exactly what many of us might have marketed as an e book to generate some dough on their own, principally seeing that you could possibly have done it in case you desired. Those techniques likewise served to become great way to be certain that some people have similar dreams much like my own to see a lot more with reference to this issue. I'm sure there are thousands of more pleasant opportunities up front for many who go through your blog.

  • Comment Link michael jordan shoes Monday, 03 January 2022 13:08 posted by michael jordan shoes

    Thanks for your entire work on this blog. Betty really loves making time for internet research and it's really easy to understand why. We hear all of the compelling means you convey good steps via this blog and therefore foster participation from visitors on that article plus my daughter is without question studying a great deal. Take pleasure in the rest of the year. You are always conducting a good job.

  • Comment Link pg 4 Monday, 03 January 2022 13:08 posted by pg 4

    My wife and i got joyous that Edward could carry out his analysis while using the ideas he was given from your web site. It is now and again perplexing to simply be freely giving guides which often other people have been making money from. And now we fully grasp we have got the website owner to thank for this. All the explanations you've made, the easy blog navigation, the friendships your site make it easier to create - it's everything wonderful, and it's aiding our son and the family reckon that that subject matter is exciting, and that is tremendously important. Thanks for the whole thing!

  • Comment Link supreme new york Monday, 03 January 2022 03:08 posted by supreme new york

    I must voice my love for your generosity supporting folks who really need guidance on that niche. Your special commitment to passing the message all over became quite informative and has enabled associates much like me to arrive at their dreams. Your amazing interesting hints and tips means a whole lot a person like me and a whole lot more to my office workers. Warm regards; from all of us.

  • Comment Link off white clothing Sunday, 02 January 2022 18:19 posted by off white clothing

    I truly wanted to type a brief note in order to appreciate you for all the nice tips you are writing on this site. My time intensive internet lookup has at the end been compensated with extremely good ideas to share with my close friends. I would point out that many of us visitors actually are truly blessed to live in a fantastic place with so many brilliant professionals with useful strategies. I feel very much grateful to have used your weblog and look forward to some more exciting minutes reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.

  • Comment Link Jasonslems Sunday, 02 January 2022 15:55 posted by Jasonslems

    buy cialis 20mg tablets blue chew cialis cost of viagra in mexico can i buy viagra in canada generic cialis tadalafil women viagra pills where to buy viagra in south africa tadalafil chewable tablets 20 mg cialis pills 20mg buy cialis generic canada

Leave a comment

Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.