Many people fall in love, get married and work hard at adding value to their relationship for the first year or two. Then the couples become used to being married and start taking each other for granted by not adding or neglecting their values. One or both couples may start looking for these values outside the marriage.
Marriage is very challenging in ways one cannot imagine. Marriage is a business and not all business is the same. There are different models adopted. A marriage is more like a Partnership than an LLC, a partnership whose purpose is the management of a shared life. Two companies merge to form a partnership. Forming mergers are to improve the profitability of the two companies involved. Profitability is a net gain. If one company takes over another, you do not have a merger, you have an acquisition. Acquisitions are not about the coming together of equals. Acquisitions are about one company absorbing another into itself while keeping the essence of its original identity, an identity to which the absorbed company stays subservient.
Certainly, many marriages use the acquisition model. And not that it cannot work, but because people, in general, tend to grow more independent over time, the acquisition model may become problematic as the subservient partner feels increasingly less inclined to remain so.
Every successful business creates the values that will sustain the business and make the business grow. In business, the value is what causes people to want to trade with you. Value is what makes someone decide to hand you their money because they are going to get something they want, something in which they find compelling value.
Value is not fixed or tangible; it rests on perceived benefit. Value is in the mind of the beholder. Innovators work hard to understand exactly what value means to their customers, so they can generate and provide it. Value is an emergent property of the supplier and the consumer; it cannot take place with only one or the other. You need to work hard to generate and give the needed values to your spouse. What your spouse values are not fixed or tangible. You can create new value; you can create more value, or you can create better value. The new value is the most difficult strategy. Creating more value is much easier because you are working with something you already have. Creating better value is also easier because it is an extension of what you are currently doing.
Are you adding value to your marriage? Do you even think about what you can do every day to keep the relationship growing? How does your spouse feel about you if they believe you are compromising rather than giving? If you are giving are you giving in the way your spouse needs you to give? Your purpose in a relationship is to give in the way your partner needs you to give, to give consistency and to add value to their life. If you focus on yourself, then you cannot give as they expected. If you are valuable to your spouse or partner, compromise will disappear and ‘giving’ will take over.
You create value for money either by saving or investing. Where you have money that does not have value, you become poor. Your marriage or relationship becomes poor if you do not add the necessary value. When you give your heart and truly mean it, then you give without expecting anything in return. When you add value because you believe in what you are adding then you do not expect anything in return. The reward for you is in adding the value. It is not your responsibility to ask for reward, that is down to others to give.
Success in anything, be it your career, your hobbies, your relationship, happens and grows when you add value and when those around you who matter see you adding value and want more of the value you bring to their lives. In a relationship, if you both do this for each other and you do this consistently then instead of compromising, you will both become a formidable team working to achieve a common goal thereby meeting each other’s needs. That way you can climb the mountain together in the morning and still be back for tea. The value you both share will bind you.
How you personally define marriage is the foundation of how you treat your marriage and how you commit to your marriage. Your expectations in the marriage will decide what will build or break the relationship. The success of a marriage is dependent upon whether each spouse chooses to value the other highly.
Your marriage is the most important relationship of your life. You must realise your spouse is the person who deserves most of your attention. You must treat your spouse like they are your hero, your king, or queen, and give them the benefit of your best attention. That obviously also implies that you must pay attention when your spouse talks to you. Often, we are guilty of “tuning out” when we get home. We spend all day concentrating at work, and when we get home we just want to relax. That often also result in the fact that we do not listen properly when our spouse talks to us.
Novelty is the quality of being new, original, and unusual. Adding value through novelty simply means kicking our relationship into high gear, with thoughtful experimentation and spontaneity. Finding out what your spouse’s preferences are in the bedroom and catering to those, is a great way to prove that we are placing our spouse’s needs first. Maintaining a surprise element in the sex department is electrifying and amazing. It is, however, unique to each couple and how this plays out will be contingent on things like sexual experience, personality preferences, a willingness to experiment and knowledge about sex. Keep religion and tradition out of this. Make the most of your life together.
The key to is to learn how to increase the value of your spouse. As we learn how to increase the value of our spouses, we increase our ability to deal with anger. One problem is that when people do not see enough value, they try to straighten that person out by using anger. What do you do when you see no value in your spouse? Where you see no value or little value, you must create it. You do not give up. You stay put and deal with the issue. There is no room for escape. You are in this for a lifetime.
Value is a key that opens many doors. Show your spouse, you appreciate him or her and you will add value to their life. When you predict their needs, it adds value. You must pay attention, so you can really know them. It is easy to add value when you understand the power and purpose of love in your relationship. There is no greater power than love! Love can heal the world. Love is pure and decent, innocent, and true. Love will last forever. Love is magical.
Adding Value to Your Marriage— Sex and Relationship. Featured
Written by Jefferson O Imgbi
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By David Brunnstrom
WASHINGTON, Dec 3 (Reuters) - A human rights law group contracted by the U.S.
State Department to investigate atrocities against Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar called on Monday for the urgent establishment
of a criminal tribunal to bring those responsible to justice.
There were reasonable grounds to believe the Myanmar military committed
crimes against humanity, genocide and war crimes against the minority group, the Public International Law
and Policy Group (PILPG) said in a report.
The report was based on more than 1,000 interviews with Rohingya refugees
who fled to Bangladesh.
The Washington-based group's use of the term genocide adds
pressure on U.S. President Donald Trump's administration to harden its
own characterization of the treatment of the Rohingya, something that could oblige the U.S.
government to take stronger punitive measures against Myanmar.
"The international community is obliged to protect populations subjected to atrocity crimes by their own governments and ensure justice and accountability for such crimes," the report said.
It called for the urgent establishment of an "accountability mechanism,"
or referral to the International Criminal Court. It noted
that in similar circumstances in the past, different mechanisms had been used, including the ICC, ad hoc tribunals
established by the United Nations, and hybrid or domestic tribunals established with the support of intergovernmental organizations.
The military in Myanmar, where Buddhism is the main religion, has denied past accusations that it had committed
genocide against the Rohingya and says its actions were part of a fight against terrorism.
Myanmar's Embassy in Washington did not immediately respond to a request for comment on the report.
The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington also issued a statement on Monday
saying there was compelling evidence that the Myanmar military committed ethnic cleansing, crimes against humanity
and genocide against the Rohingya.
A report by U.N. investigators in August found that Myanmar's
military carried out mass killings and gang rapes of Rohingyas with "genocidal intent," and
said the commander-in-chief and five generals should
be prosecuted under international law.
That report called for the U.N. Security Council to impose an arms embargo and targeted
sanctions as well as for the suspects to be tried by an ad
hoc tribunal or referred to the ICC. However, diplomats say veto-wielding powers China and Russia
are likely to protect Myanmar, previously known as Burma, from
U.N. action.
The PILPG's refugee interviews formed the basis of a U.S.
State Department report released in September, but
Washington stopped short of using the terms crimes against humanity, genocide or war crimes.
Monday's report from PILPG added the group's legal analysis to its findings on the atrocities.
The State Department report, the subject of an internal debate that delayed
its rollout for nearly a month, referred to a "well-planned and coordinated"
campaign of mass killings, gang rapes and other atrocities.
A declaration of genocide by the U.S. government, which has only gone as far as labeling the
crackdown "ethnic cleansing," could require Washington to impose stronger sanctions on Myanmar, a country with which
it has competed for influence with regional rival China.
Asked about the PILPG report, a State Department spokesperson noted the ethnic cleansing designation Washington has used so far, and
said it "continues to review and analyze new evidence and information as it comes to light."
More than 700,000 Rohingya Muslims fled a sweeping army
crackdown in Rakhine State last year, according to U.N.
agencies. Human rights groups and Rohingya activists have put the death
toll from the crackdown in the thousands.
SENATORS CRITICIZE U.S. STANCE
U.S. senators from both sides of the aisle have criticized Secretary of State Mike Pompeo for not going further in his condemnation.
A congressional aide said the House could vote as soon as next week on a resolution stating
that the Rohingya were victims of genocide and crimes against humanity.
The resolution also calls for the release of two Reuters reporters,
Wa Lone and Kyaw Soe Oo, who reported on the killing of 10 Rohingya men in Rakhine State in the west of the country, implicating Myanmar's security forces.
A Myanmar judge found the two reporters guilty of breaching
a law on state secrets and jailed them for seven years in September.
"The State Department had access to the exact same data when developing its report, yet we don´t have any policy announcement from Secretary Pompeo on a genocide determination, nor any other public statement on how the administration views the brutality. What is the reason for this silence?" Democratic Senator Ed Markey said
in a statement to Reuters.
Republican Senator Marco Rubio last week called for an immediate determination of genocide.
The lawyers' report, based on the work of 18 investigators from 11 countries, found that Rohingya men, women, and children were the
victims of "mass shootings and aerial bombardments, gang rapes and severe beatings, torture and burning, and attacks from flamethrowers and grenade launchers."
It focused on the build-up to and conduct of "major systematic attacks" in Myanmar's Rakhine state between Aug.
25 and Sept. 4 of 2017.
Even as the Rohingya fled for Bangladesh they were fired on by military helicopters
while the Myanmar Navy sought to sink overcrowded ferries, the report said, adding this showed the campaign went beyond the aim of merely driving the people out.
"The scale and severity of the attacks and abuses ... suggest that, in the minds of the perpetrators, the goal was not just to expel, but also to exterminate the Rohingya," the report said.
(Reporting by David Brunnstrom; additional reporting by Patricia
Zengerle; editing by Mary Milliken, Frances Kerry and G Crosse) -
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