Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.
I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.
Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.
To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.
When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.
In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.
The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.
Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success. It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.
There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.
Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.
When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure. Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this? Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.
Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.
Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.
25622 comments
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 12:38
posted by kobe
Thanks a lot for giving everyone an extraordinarily nice chance to check tips from this web site. It is often so beneficial plus full of a great time for me and my office fellow workers to search the blog on the least thrice in one week to study the new secrets you will have. And of course, I'm so certainly astounded with all the splendid opinions you serve. Selected two facts on this page are in reality the most beneficial I have ever had.
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 11:25
posted by off white
My spouse and i were excited when Chris managed to finish off his reports by way of the ideas he acquired from your web pages. It is now and again perplexing to simply continually be giving out information that the others have been selling. And now we take into account we have got you to be grateful to for that. The specific explanations you made, the straightforward site navigation, the relationships your site give support to create - it's most unbelievable, and it's really letting our son and us imagine that this concept is brilliant, which is certainly seriously indispensable. Thank you for all the pieces!
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 09:30
posted by Fuupstept
cost of viagra prescription cheap generic viagra from canada
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 05:25
posted by lebron shoes
I actually wanted to construct a simple message in order to say thanks to you for those fabulous guidelines you are giving at this website. My extended internet look up has finally been paid with reliable knowledge to talk about with my family members. I would express that we website visitors are very fortunate to exist in a magnificent network with many awesome people with very helpful secrets. I feel truly blessed to have come across your weblog and look forward to so many more brilliant moments reading here. Thank you once more for a lot of things.
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 04:49
posted by adidas yeezy
I definitely wanted to compose a quick word to appreciate you for those marvelous guidelines you are giving at this site. My time intensive internet research has at the end of the day been compensated with reasonable facts and strategies to talk about with my friends and classmates. I 'd repeat that many of us visitors actually are unequivocally lucky to live in a remarkable community with very many awesome professionals with helpful things. I feel pretty happy to have seen your entire weblog and look forward to some more excellent moments reading here. Thanks once again for everything.
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 04:45
posted by off white outlet
I have to show my appreciation to the writer just for bailing me out of this trouble. As a result of checking through the internet and obtaining tricks that were not beneficial, I assumed my entire life was gone. Living minus the approaches to the problems you've sorted out through your entire website is a critical case, and the kind that might have negatively damaged my entire career if I hadn't noticed the website. Your knowledge and kindness in handling all the details was very helpful. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't come across such a thing like this. I'm able to now look ahead to my future. Thanks a lot very much for your skilled and sensible guide. I will not think twice to suggest your web blog to anybody who wants and needs guide about this topic.
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 03:31
posted by michael jordan shoes
I and also my guys appeared to be taking note of the great procedures located on your website while all of the sudden I got a horrible suspicion I had not thanked the web site owner for those techniques. These young boys are already so excited to read all of them and have now clearly been having fun with these things. I appreciate you for really being indeed thoughtful as well as for utilizing some awesome themes most people are really needing to be informed on. My sincere regret for not expressing appreciation to sooner.
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 02:59
posted by kyrie irving shoes
My spouse and i got now ecstatic Michael managed to finish off his research through the ideas he received from your own weblog. It's not at all simplistic just to happen to be giving for free guides which usually other people might have been trying to sell. And we consider we need the writer to appreciate because of that. The entire explanations you've made, the simple website navigation, the relationships you give support to engender - it's got most fantastic, and it's making our son and our family do think the subject is brilliant, and that is truly important. Thanks for all the pieces!
-
Comment Link
Friday, 15 April 2022 02:26
posted by adidas yeezy
I precisely desired to thank you very much yet again. I'm not certain what I would've carried out in the absence of the actual basics shared by you directly on that area of interest. This was an absolute alarming matter for me personally, however , witnessing this expert approach you processed it took me to jump over joy. I am just happier for your assistance and even trust you comprehend what an amazing job that you are accomplishing training people today with the aid of your websites. Most likely you haven't encountered all of us.
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 14 April 2022 21:33
posted by curry 8
Thanks a lot for providing individuals with remarkably brilliant opportunity to check tips from this web site. It really is so pleasurable and stuffed with a good time for me and my office fellow workers to search the blog the equivalent of thrice in a week to learn the new guides you will have. Not to mention, I am also at all times fascinated with all the spectacular methods you give. Some 1 points in this posting are basically the best we've had.
Leave a comment
Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.