Sunday, 05 November 2017 04:57

Handling Failure. Featured

Written by
Rate this item
(0 votes)

Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.

I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.

Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.

To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.

When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.

In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.

The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.

Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success.  It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.

There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.

Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.

When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure.  Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this?  Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.

Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.

Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.

29301 comments

  • Comment Link NndenUnsub Tuesday, 03 May 2022 21:22 posted by NndenUnsub

    how do you take levitra levitra 500 mg https://xclevitradb.com/

  • Comment Link cheap jordans Tuesday, 03 May 2022 19:37 posted by cheap jordans

    I in addition to my pals ended up reading through the excellent pointers located on the website and at once I got an awful feeling I had not expressed respect to the web blog owner for those strategies. Most of the young boys ended up certainly happy to read through all of them and already have actually been making the most of those things. I appreciate you for indeed being very considerate as well as for choosing some fabulous topics most people are really desperate to be informed on. My sincere apologies for not expressing appreciation to sooner.

  • Comment Link yeezy boost 350 Tuesday, 03 May 2022 18:13 posted by yeezy boost 350

    I must express my appreciation to you for bailing me out of this predicament. As a result of looking through the internet and meeting strategies that were not helpful, I assumed my life was well over. Existing without the answers to the issues you have fixed as a result of your entire website is a serious case, and the kind that might have in a negative way affected my career if I hadn't noticed your blog. Your own personal mastery and kindness in playing with every item was useful. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't encountered such a stuff like this. I am able to at this point look ahead to my future. Thank you so much for your specialized and effective help. I will not think twice to endorse your web site to any individual who will need tips on this subject matter.

  • Comment Link kawhi leonard shoes Tuesday, 03 May 2022 14:14 posted by kawhi leonard shoes

    I enjoy you because of all of the labor on this website. Debby enjoys doing internet research and it's really easy to see why. My spouse and i notice all relating to the powerful ways you deliver valuable strategies through your website and therefore foster contribution from the others on that idea and my daughter is now understanding a lot. Enjoy the rest of the new year. You're conducting a pretty cool job.

  • Comment Link curry 7 Tuesday, 03 May 2022 11:09 posted by curry 7

    I would like to voice my admiration for your kind-heartedness for people who have the need for help with that subject. Your personal dedication to getting the message all over appears to be quite advantageous and has permitted those just like me to arrive at their endeavors. Your own warm and helpful recommendations entails a great deal a person like me and far more to my office colleagues. Best wishes; from all of us.

  • Comment Link supreme clothing Tuesday, 03 May 2022 06:46 posted by supreme clothing

    I not to mention my pals were found to be looking at the excellent information and facts located on your web page while suddenly developed a horrible suspicion I had not expressed respect to the web blog owner for those strategies. All the young boys happened to be consequently very interested to read through them and have in effect actually been enjoying them. Appreciate your genuinely very kind as well as for finding some good tips most people are really eager to know about. Our own honest regret for not expressing gratitude to you earlier.

  • Comment Link yeezy 350 Tuesday, 03 May 2022 05:27 posted by yeezy 350

    I have to show my appreciation to you for rescuing me from this predicament. Right after researching throughout the internet and seeing methods that were not beneficial, I thought my entire life was done. Living minus the answers to the issues you've solved by way of this report is a critical case, and those which might have adversely affected my entire career if I hadn't noticed your web page. The competence and kindness in playing with all the stuff was very helpful. I am not sure what I would've done if I hadn't come across such a subject like this. I'm able to at this time relish my future. Thanks for your time very much for your specialized and results-oriented guide. I will not think twice to refer your web blog to anybody who should receive guidelines about this problem.

  • Comment Link kyrie shoes Monday, 02 May 2022 23:26 posted by kyrie shoes

    I have to convey my respect for your kind-heartedness for folks who require guidance on the niche. Your personal commitment to getting the solution all-around turned out to be definitely powerful and have consistently allowed women much like me to achieve their goals. Your amazing interesting information signifies much a person like me and much more to my office colleagues. With thanks; from all of us.

  • Comment Link air jordan Monday, 02 May 2022 22:59 posted by air jordan

    I truly wanted to develop a brief word to be able to thank you for all of the stunning solutions you are sharing on this site. My considerable internet look up has at the end of the day been rewarded with excellent concept to write about with my friends. I 'd suppose that many of us website visitors actually are undoubtedly blessed to live in a fabulous network with very many special individuals with beneficial opinions. I feel truly blessed to have used the website and look forward to so many more thrilling times reading here. Thank you once again for everything.

  • Comment Link pg 4 Monday, 02 May 2022 22:56 posted by pg 4

    Thanks a lot for providing individuals with an extraordinarily splendid opportunity to read in detail from here. It is often very good and also full of a lot of fun for me and my office mates to visit your web site minimum three times weekly to find out the fresh stuff you have. And lastly, I'm at all times motivated concerning the excellent hints you give. Some 4 ideas on this page are undeniably the most beneficial we have all had.

Leave a comment

Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.