Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.
I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.
Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.
To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.
When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.
In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.
The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.
Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success. It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.
There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.
Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.
When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure. Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this? Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.
Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.
Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.
29434 comments
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 15:47
posted by jordan 4
I wanted to create you that very little remark in order to thank you very much yet again for those unique solutions you have documented above. It was so incredibly open-handed of people like you to give without restraint precisely what a few people would have advertised as an e-book to earn some bucks for their own end, specifically since you could possibly have done it in the event you wanted. The points likewise served like the easy way to realize that other people have a similar fervor just as my very own to know the truth whole lot more with respect to this condition. I'm certain there are numerous more pleasurable opportunities up front for individuals who look over your blog post.
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 12:19
posted by jordan shoes
My husband and i ended up being really more than happy when Ervin managed to complete his analysis out of the precious recommendations he gained out of your blog. It's not at all simplistic to simply choose to be releasing secrets which often many others might have been selling. We acknowledge we need the blog owner to be grateful to because of that. All of the explanations you made, the easy web site menu, the friendships you help create - it's everything wonderful, and it's really facilitating our son and us believe that that content is interesting, and that's quite vital. Many thanks for all the pieces!
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 11:44
posted by a bathing ape
I needed to write you the bit of observation to help say thank you once again regarding the striking advice you've discussed on this page. It is pretty open-handed with you to make extensively just what some people might have advertised for an ebook to get some bucks for themselves, precisely considering the fact that you might well have tried it in case you decided. These principles likewise acted as the easy way to realize that other people online have the identical zeal the same as my personal own to learn lots more concerning this condition. Certainly there are thousands of more pleasant opportunities in the future for individuals who looked at your blog.
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 08:41
posted by bape hoodie
Thanks for each of your effort on this blog. Kim takes pleasure in participating in investigations and it is obvious why. A number of us know all regarding the compelling form you offer helpful tricks by means of this blog and therefore recommend contribution from other people on that situation so our princess is actually understanding a great deal. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. You have been doing a really great job.
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 08:39
posted by off white
I am commenting to make you be aware of what a cool encounter my girl enjoyed going through your site. She came to find too many details, including what it is like to possess an awesome coaching nature to make other individuals just understand a variety of specialized issues. You truly did more than our expected results. Thank you for showing the beneficial, trustworthy, informative and even fun thoughts on this topic to Lizeth.
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 07:46
posted by kyrie irving shoes
Thanks so much for providing individuals with an extraordinarily memorable possiblity to read from this site. It is often so superb and as well , stuffed with a good time for me personally and my office friends to search the blog at least three times a week to find out the fresh guides you have. And lastly, we're at all times amazed with the outstanding secrets you give. Some 4 facts in this posting are certainly the most suitable we've ever had.
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 07:23
posted by curry 8
My husband and i felt really comfortable that Michael managed to carry out his investigations from the ideas he obtained while using the site. It's not at all simplistic to simply choose to be giving away facts which the others could have been trying to sell. We really take into account we have got the blog owner to give thanks to for this. These illustrations you've made, the simple blog menu, the friendships you can make it easier to engender - it is many sensational, and it's really facilitating our son in addition to the family imagine that this subject matter is entertaining, which is tremendously serious. Thank you for the whole lot!
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 07:22
posted by yeezy boost 350
I wish to show appreciation to you just for bailing me out of this type of challenge. Just after surfing around through the online world and finding strategies that were not beneficial, I believed my life was gone. Living devoid of the approaches to the difficulties you've resolved by means of your good review is a crucial case, and the ones which may have badly affected my career if I had not come across your blog post. Your own talents and kindness in maneuvering all the stuff was very useful. I am not sure what I would've done if I hadn't encountered such a solution like this. I can now look ahead to my future. Thanks a lot very much for your expert and results-oriented guide. I will not think twice to propose your web page to anybody who needs and wants tips on this matter.
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 07:22
posted by kyrie shoes
Thanks so much for giving everyone an extremely wonderful chance to read from here. It is often so good and stuffed with fun for me and my office acquaintances to visit your web site at the least thrice in a week to see the newest guides you have. Not to mention, we're always fascinated with your effective techniques served by you. Selected 1 points on this page are truly the most suitable I have ever had.
-
Comment Link
Thursday, 05 May 2022 07:22
posted by air jordans
I must express my thanks to this writer for rescuing me from this type of crisis. Because of researching throughout the internet and getting ways which were not helpful, I believed my life was done. Existing devoid of the approaches to the problems you've sorted out by way of your good report is a crucial case, as well as ones that could have badly affected my career if I had not come across the website. Your talents and kindness in dealing with every aspect was very helpful. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not come across such a thing like this. It's possible to at this time look forward to my future. Thanks for your time so much for this expert and effective help. I won't think twice to endorse the sites to anyone who requires guidelines on this subject.
Leave a comment
Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.