Why are you avoiding failing, and why does it look like it is the end of the world when you fail at something dear? To define failure in any context, you must first ask: what are you falling short of? What standards are you lacking? By which metrics are you failing? You can’t truly know what it means to fail if you don’t know what it means to succeed.
I have failed so many times in my life. I still fail sometimes, but I am not a failure. I know that school sabotage our relationship with failure. It installs in us some negative ways to deal with and handle failure. The results of your test and exams, states if you passed or failed. If you fail, there are consequences—your teachers and parents might be disappointed with you, you probably won’t get into the next class or the next level of your program. You might repeat or be kicked off. The price of failing is a very high price. You just can’t afford to fail.
Having this in mind, we have a terrible relationship with failure. Our educational system literally teaches us to associate failing with people being angry with us, opportunity slipping away, and having to spend our entire summers at school while our friends are all having fun outside. The message we learn from this is not positive. It instils the fear of failing in us. The moment you have the fear of failing, you will attract more failing. It is a never ending vicious cycle. If you fail, you’ll be punished. Supposedly, if you manage to not fail, you’re OK until you fail. The problem is that this belief is horribly misguided, and it sets us up for a lifetime of failure outside of the classroom.
To get better you need to change your own definition of failure. This will enable you to change your perspective. This will enable you to see the positive in failing and attract positive results despite failing. You have no option, but to accept failing is good for you. Failure is a necessary precursor to ultimate success. Want to make it big in the real world? Fail early, fail fast, fail often, as the saying goes.
When you fail, it is the process that failed, and not you. Creating a purposeful life requires messing up and venturing into the unknown. While we all want success, this is not guaranteed. That’s why the ability to recover from setback and move forward is essential. And this starts with embracing, processing, and even benefiting from failure. Failure is the best teacher. Until you experience failure, you won’t learn the secrets embedded that will enable you to succeed. Scientists have long understood that the brain has two ways of learning. One is avoidance learning, which is a punishing, negative experience that trains the brain to avoid repeating mistakes. The other is reward-based learning, a positive, reinforcing experience in which the brain feels rewarded for reaching the right answer.
In the educational system, failure means lost opportunity. But in the real world, failure is the currency for success. There is no success without failure. No matter how brilliant you think you are, you can’t tiptoe past failure on the way to success, failure is the front door. You’re not better or smarter than failure, you’re not above it and you can’t escape it. You’re going to fail many times, probably more than you succeed. If that idea made you queasy, well, get used to it. Failure doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Failure is just a data for you to work with. It is basic information that gives insight. It is a feedback.
The currency you earn from failing is the data and information the failure presents to you. How you use this data and information will determine how successful you will become. The more times you fail, the more data you earn, and the richer and more knowledgeable you become. Failure should not be taken for granted. It should not be taken on a face value. It is valuable to fail. As a matter of fact, failure is as precious as gold. If you want to achieve anything worthwhile, you must let go of the idea that failure is something to avoid. Nobody wants to fail, but you must be willing to fail if you ever want the chance to succeed.
Life is not like a restaurant where you can choose your meal. You don’t have the choice and leisure to choose between failure and success. It doesn’t matter how much you achieve, or how good you think you are, you’ll never be immune to failure. Expect it often. Anticipate it. Remember that even though you can have failure without success, you can’t have success without failure. Failure is inevitable.
There is always room for improvement no matter how great you are. Sometimes, you’ll never know which areas need improvement unless you fail. You learn more from failure than from success. Failure makes you stronger, not weaker. Failure shouldn’t break or stop you, because you’re unstoppable. If you break or stop, it is not because of failing, it is because you decided to give up. You made the decision to give up. You take more chances in life when you are not afraid to fail. When you fail, oftentimes you’ll realise the present path you’re on is not the right one. You invest more time, and you discover a better path that leads to your goals and objectives. Failing shows you the right path.
Whenever you fail you have a choice. It is either you focus on the facts or you focus on the emotions. If you emphasise your feelings after an instance of failure, you’ll succumb to the victim mindset. Don’t make yourself a victim. If you are a victim of failure, your focus becomes your misfortune. Victims are passive and helpless. Failure feels worse than it is if you feel like a victim.
When you fail, don’t make it personal. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something doesn’t mean you are a failure. Look at the failure analytically. Don’t be in a hurry to shove it. There are lessons to be learned. Dissect it, learn all you can. Why did you fail? What might have produced a better outcome? Was the failure completely beyond your control? After gathering the facts, step back and ask yourself, what did I learn from this? Think about how you will apply this newly found insight going forward.
Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome, so stop dwelling on it. Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. You don't need anyone’s approval. The key to success is handling failure. If you risk failure, sometimes you will fail. But every time you fail, you’re that much closer to success. Success demands its percentage of failure.
Be aware that whenever you are doing something new, learning something new, taking risks or stepping outside your comfort zone, you are risking failure. All is not lost when you fail.
33264 comments
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 13:26
posted by bape clothing
I definitely wanted to write down a brief remark in order to express gratitude to you for those fabulous suggestions you are writing here. My considerable internet search has finally been compensated with extremely good facts and techniques to share with my two friends. I would state that that most of us site visitors are definitely endowed to dwell in a fine network with very many lovely professionals with valuable opinions. I feel pretty blessed to have seen your website and look forward to some more brilliant moments reading here. Thanks a lot again for everything.
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 13:26
posted by yeezy
My wife and i ended up being absolutely joyous when Raymond managed to finish off his studies via the ideas he had out of your web page. It is now and again perplexing to just always be releasing concepts that many men and women have been trying to sell. And now we consider we have got the blog owner to thank for this. The most important explanations you have made, the simple site menu, the relationships you will assist to instill - it's got most powerful, and it's letting our son in addition to our family understand this article is thrilling, and that is pretty fundamental. Many thanks for everything!
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 13:02
posted by ikuxaomp
buy provigil 100mg online
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 11:58
posted by yeezy boost 350 v2
I must express some appreciation to this writer just for rescuing me from this difficulty. As a result of browsing through the search engines and coming across solutions that were not pleasant, I assumed my entire life was done. Existing minus the solutions to the difficulties you have fixed through your good website is a crucial case, and the kind which may have badly damaged my entire career if I hadn't come across your web blog. Your main understanding and kindness in maneuvering all the pieces was precious. I am not sure what I would have done if I had not discovered such a subject like this. It's possible to at this point look ahead to my future. Thanks very much for your skilled and results-oriented help. I will not hesitate to endorse your blog post to any person who requires guidance about this situation.
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 09:24
posted by lebron shoes
I happen to be commenting to let you know of the useful discovery my child enjoyed going through the blog. She picked up a good number of issues, which include what it is like to possess a great teaching nature to make many others really easily comprehend specific hard to do subject matter. You really did more than our own expected results. Thanks for distributing those priceless, healthy, informative and even unique guidance on that topic to Lizeth.
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 07:17
posted by kntldmcx
modafinil 200mg ca
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 06:35
posted by curry shoes
My spouse and i were joyous that John could conclude his survey by way of the precious recommendations he obtained from your site. It is now and again perplexing just to happen to be releasing guides that many many people may have been making money from. And we also know we now have the website owner to give thanks to for this. All the explanations you have made, the simple website navigation, the relationships your site help to instill - it's everything astounding, and it is letting our son in addition to us reckon that this matter is pleasurable, and that is extraordinarily mandatory. Many thanks for the whole thing!
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 02:59
posted by lebron james shoes
I as well as my pals were actually viewing the excellent hints from your site and so then I had a horrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the website owner for them. These young men became as a result thrilled to read through all of them and now have very much been taking advantage of them. I appreciate you for being indeed helpful and then for picking such high-quality guides millions of individuals are really desperate to be aware of. My very own honest apologies for not saying thanks to you sooner.
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 01:58
posted by yeezy boost
Thanks so much for giving everyone a very pleasant chance to discover important secrets from this blog. It can be so cool and also stuffed with a great time for me personally and my office mates to visit your web site the equivalent of thrice every week to find out the new secrets you will have. Not to mention, I am actually contented with your eye-popping pointers you serve. Certain 1 tips on this page are unequivocally the finest we've ever had.
-
Comment Link
Sunday, 22 May 2022 01:57
posted by golden goose outlet
I must show my love for your generosity for individuals that really need help on your concept. Your special commitment to passing the message throughout became rather functional and have allowed individuals much like me to realize their endeavors. Your new important advice denotes this much to me and even more to my office workers. Regards; from each one of us.
Leave a comment
Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.