The art of pleasing is the art of deceiving. If you are a people pleaser you are not real to yourself. A people pleaser is so nice and most helpful to people. They never say “no.” You can always count on them for a favour. They spend a great deal of time doing things for other people. They get their work done, help others with their work, make all the plans, and are always there for family members and friends. This can be an extremely unhealthy pattern of behaviour.
Do you allow other people to influence the quality of your life? Are you concerned about what other people think of you? Do you often make decisions based on what you think will please others? Does your sense of self-worth come from the approval of others? Do you often withhold from sharing what you truly want, think, or feel because of fear it may upset someone? Are you often last on your list of priorities? Our egos love to be liked, approved and confirmed. It is natural to want to fit in and not “upset others” because it feels safer. We like to play safe and in playing safe, we end up in situations we are not comfortable, but we accept these harsh conditions because we want to feel accepted.
People pleasing needs too much negative energy and this energy will deplete your most valuable resources, your time and positive energy. Being a people pleaser does not make you a good person. It makes you weak and selfish. You want their approval that you are good, but this is not the case. You are weak and selfish. You are selfish because pleasing people is all about your wants. You want to be liked by the people you please, therefore, you please them. You do not want to upset them. You want to look good for them. You are OK if they treat you with disrespect because you seek their approval. You are protecting yourself from confrontation. You are refusing to express the real you. Obsessing about how to please others or be liked is a misuse of your energy.
You are very important. Your views and opinion matters. Stop distorting yourself to be what you think others want or expect. See yourself now reclaiming all that time and energy you disburse on being over-responsible for others or working to impress others and refocus it on being of service without attachment, sharing your gifts, taking care of you, and expressing your true Self. When doing that you will have an overflow from which to give from and you will be able to give without attachment or expectation.
Remember this, no one has the mandate to decide your worth. No one can dictate what you deserve. Other people’s reactions, responses and feelings are not your responsibility. Someone else’s opinion of you is not the truth. Your value does not come from how others perceive you. What other people think of you is none of your business. You are not created to please others. You must learn to live life to the fullest and fulfil your purpose. It takes courage to stop being afraid of what other people think about you, about your choices. It takes courage not to allow how they react towards your decisions and opinions manipulate you into doing what they want. The more you please yourself, the more pleasing you will be to other people.
The fear of rejection and failure is a basic root cause of people pleasing. Fear of Rejection can come from early relationships in which love was conditional or in which the people pleaser was rejected or abandoned by an important person in their life. Fear of failure can arise from early experiences with severe punishment for even small mistakes. People who had highly critical parents may develop a people-pleasing pattern. Early experiences with harsh criticism or punishment can lead to significant anxiety upon trying a task. You do not have to be a victim forever. You are not a doormat or a punching bag for others. If you cannot let go of your victimisation, you will not be able to understand this concept that pleasing people make you selfish. You must do the inner work to honour yourself despite all you have been through.
People that are nice are people pleasing. Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. It is more profitable to be kind than to be nice. Nice may look appealing, but it is nasty. Nice is not kind. Nice is pleasing and agreeable in nature; showing courtesy and politeness; of good character and reputation; respectable; socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous. Kind is having or showing a tender, considerate, and helping nature. Friendly, generous, sympathetic, and warm-hearted in nature. Characterised by mercy and compassion.
Kindness is rooted in the abundance of love. It comes from the compassionate essence of who we are. Niceness is rooted in lack and fear. It projects itself through the lingering pain of our unhealed wounds and going with a low sense of self-worth. In being nice you conform to perceived societal expectations not to stir up trouble. A nice person lacks self-worth and therefore does not express authenticity. The people pleasing tendencies of “nice” are rooted in selfishness—acting inauthentically for personal gain through approval and recognition. Kindness does not care what society thinks. A kind person believes in their soul and expresses authenticity. The honest, loving nature of kindness is rooted in selflessness—no approval or recognition needed. Kindness expands consciousness. When we are kind, we feel safe within ourselves.
Nice is externally motivated (fear of judgment). Kind is internally motivated (love for others). Nice tells you what it thinks you want to hear. Kind tells you what you need to hear. Nice is tense. Kind is relaxed. Nice is self-conscious. Kind is other-conscious. Nice talks. Kind acts. Nice is faux. Kind is real. Nice pacifies. Kind is present. Nice is shallow. Kind is deep. Nice is awkward. Kind is graceful. Nice lacks boundaries; it fears the word, “no.” Kind has solid boundaries; there is no fear of “no.”
Nice is weak. Kind is strong. Nice takes. Kind gives. Nice is needy. Kind is self-reliant. Nice is empty. Kind is full. Nice constricts. Kind expands. Nice is submissive. Kind is assertive. Nice is narcissistic. Kind is empathic. Nice suppresses feelings. Kind feels it all. Nice is uncertain. Kind is certain. Nice judges. Kind accepts. Nice rejects self-care. Kind embraces self-care. Nice avoids confrontation and retreats into silence. Kind confronts and protects the innocent. Nice expect recognition or reward. Kind expects nothing.
Kindness is rooted in compassion. Stop pleasing people and be authentic to yourself. Authenticity is the key to becoming your best self. People pleasing can become a habit that causes you to lose sight of your values. Learning to tolerate people being upset with you can be hard, but it is essential to reaching your goals. Your words and your behaviour must be in line with your beliefs before you can be truly authentic. Stop wasting your life pleasing others.
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:56
posted by montajbalkon
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Прогрессивные модификации, виртуозный этнодизайн, обмысленное внутреннее укладывание – у нас есть шиздец для практического употребления местам для стоянки балкона. Делаем отличное предложение варианты систем открывания, цветовых резолюций, выбираем мануфактуры небольшой учетом температурных соглашений а также сырости помещения. Разрабатываем уникальные планы под ваш интерьер. Целесообразно утилизируем первый попавшийся центиметр отведенной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:56
posted by montajbalkon
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Теперешние модели, умелый дизайн, обмысленное внутреннее наполнение – язык нас есть шиздец чтобы практического употребления местам для стоянки балкона. Делаем отличное предложение виды учений открывания, цветовых выводов, подбираем ткани с учетом температурных соглашений также влажности помещения. Разрабатываем чудесные проекты унтер ваш интерьер. Рационально утилизируем весь круг сантиметр отведенной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:56
posted by montajbalkon
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Современные модели, виртуозный этнодизайн, обмысленное внутреннее наполнение – язык нас является все для практичного применения местам для стоянки балкона. Предлагаем виды организаций открывания, цветовых выводов, выбираем мануфактуры раз-два учетом температурных условий а также влажности помещения. Разрабатываем уникальные проекты под ваш интерьер. Целесообразно утилизируем каждый сантиметр отведенной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:56
posted by montajbalkon
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Теперешние модификации, виртуозный этнодизайн, продуманное внутреннее укладывание – язык нас есть все для практичного употребления пространства балкона. Предлагаем виды организаций открывания, цветных ответов, выбираем ткани с учетом температурных критерий а также влажности помещения. Разрабатываем чудесные проекты унтер чемодан интерьер. Рационально используем весь круг центиметр доставленной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:56
posted by montajbalkon
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Теперешние модификации, умелый дизайн, обмысленное душевное укладывание – у нас есть все чтобы практичного применения места балкона. Предлагаем виды систем открывания, цветных ответов, подыскиваем материалы небольшой учетом температурных условий также сырости помещения. Разрабатываем чудесные планы под ваш интерьер. Рационально используем каждый сантиметр доставленной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:53
posted by montajbalkon
montaj-balkon.ru
Теперешние модели, виртуозный этнодизайн, продуманное душевное наполнение – язык нас является шиздец чтобы практического употребления местам для стоянки балкона. Предлагаем виды организаций открывания, цветовых резолюций, выбираем материалы небольшой учетом температурных соглашений и влажности помещения. Разрабатываем уникальные проекты унтер ваш интерьер. Целесообразно утилизируем весь круг сантиметр назначенной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:53
posted by montajbalkon
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Теперешние модели, умелый этнодизайн, продуманное внутреннее наполнение – у нас является все для практичного применения места балкона. Предлагаем варианты учений открывания, цветовых резолюций, подыскиваем ткани с учетом температурных условий также сырости помещения. Разрабатываем чудесные проекты унтер чемодан интерьер. Рационально утилизируем весь круг центиметр доставленной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:53
posted by montajbalkon
montaj-balkon.ru
Прогрессивные модели, умелый этнодизайн, продуманное внутреннее укладывание – у нас есть все для практичного употребления места балкона. Делаем отличное предложение варианты государственное устройство открывания, цветовых выводов, подбираем вещества с учетом температурных соглашений равно влажности помещения. Разрабатываем чудесные планы унтер ваш интерьер. Целесообразно используем каждый центиметр назначенной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:53
posted by montajbalkon
montaj-balkon.ru
Теперешние модификации, виртуозный дизайн, продуманное внутреннее укладывание – у нас есть шиздец для практического употребления места балкона. Делаем отличное предложение варианты систем открывания, цветных ответов, выбираем материалы маленький учетом температурных критерий равно сырости помещения. Разрабатываем чудесные проекты под чемодан интерьер. Целесообразно используем обиходный сантиметр назначенной площади. .
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Sunday, 22 October 2023 04:53
posted by montajbalkon
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Современные модели, умелый этнодизайн, обмысленное внутреннее укладывание – язык нас есть шиздец чтобы практичного применения места балкона. Делаем отличное предложение виды учений открывания, цветных выводов, подыскиваем ткани маленький учетом температурных критерий и влажности помещения. Разрабатываем уникальные планы под чемодан интерьер. Рационально используем каждый центиметр доставленной площади. .
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