they won’t open up even if they know you are capable to help them because they don’t trust you. Things never really went the way I have planned. Life throws so many obstacles on my journey and I ended up studying engineering. I remember how hard it was for me to make that choice of leaving my dreamt career for something else.
When it was time for me to make the decision it wasn’t easy. I could trust no one to counsel me. My inspiration came through a song. I have been writing the university entrance exam for over four years, I always score very high marks to read engineering but not enough to read medicine. Here it now looks like I have wasted four years of my life because I was too stubborn to make that choice for a change. I was not stubborn because I am stubborn but I was because my dream is so real and letting it go is like losing my precious life.
I refused to give in despite the signs because I was trying to save my life, my dream, my vision forgetting that I am not in any way capable of saving my own life. Maybe if I had known this scripture back then I wouldn’t have tried so had to hold unto that dream, I would have allowed God and walk with Him. Luke 17:33 (TLB) “Whoever clings to his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it.”
One day I was so lonely and in the valley of decision. I had no more energy because I was in a cross road and exhausted for everything I have tried never worked. I increased my work rate, I teach people and all my students were getting the grade but for me it was a different story. They were using my techniques and yet I was the only one not getting the grade. I cannot disclose or discuss my predicament with them because they will think I am lying. I gave them the hope and the tools they used to get what they have and this is what I am dying for. I gave them what I desire but yet I can’t have it.
The funny part is the fact that some of them don’t need it as much as I needed it. They got it and left it to rot. It means nothing to them but it means life to me. All my life I have been told that if you want something so much you can have it. I believe I can but here I am not getting what I so much desire. I read, work hard, prayed hard and do all the right things that needed to be done and yet I could not have my desire. On that lonely day I heard the smoothing voice singing and he was talking to me.
As I listened I understood more and I knew this is for me. I was confident to take action, to make a choice that will change my life forever. This is a very popular song and I will like you to read it with a meaning and then you will feel in a way how I felt. I had renewed hope and I saw my faith grew from a mustard seed to a mango seed faith. Here I will give you the very parts that changed my life.
I’m Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It’s Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer’s Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man’s Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya’ Know
‘Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That’s Why I Want You To
Know
I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
I know right away that the man in the mirror is me struggling to make that change but now I was bold and ready to make that change in my life. The day I made the change my dad was not happy but the truth is the world didn’t end either. I made a choice I was determined to live with for the rest of my life. I was the only one that understood why I have to make the choice. Even when I tried to explain they wouldn’t understand the way I did. I was the one wearing the shoes and having the pain. I was the one leaping and pretending all is well. I was slowly dying but the people around me think I am their hero. Only if they know the truth they would have died before I did.
Life is all about choices; be prepared to live with the consequences of the choices you make because the end result may not be the one you thought. The truth is the fact that nothing really changes in me. I was ordained to pastor our local fellowship in the university and soon I will sit down like a doctor, listen to people and their diverse life issues and give them some prescription. All the time I spent in the hospital was never wasted. There is no knowledge in your life that is a waste.
Your decisions create who you are in life. You can start making decisions that will lead you in a different direction. You can decide to become whatever your passions command. You don’t need to settle for anything less. You can’t be a victim and you can’t be trapped when you realize that your decisions-the choices you make day after day-determine who you are. So, who will you be? Have you made that choice? If you have, are you making other choices that will lead to that destination? Are you leading your life or are you following in your life?
You can’t predict your life, nor can you engineer the perfect next step, so stop putting pressure on yourself to figure things out. You need to stop judging and evaluating yourself in a degrading manner. Stop trying to label yourself and simply accept who you are. Treat yourself with the same kindness, respect and compassion you would show to a friend, or even a stranger. Being nicer to yourself also means taking care of yourself and taking the time to do what replenishes you.
Choice is the right and power to select one option or thing before the other. You always have a choice to make, it is your right. What choices you make influence your life in varying degrees and that’s power. Choice is a general term that is used to refer to the act of selection. It can also be defined as the right, power, or opportunity to choose or rather something that is preferred to others. Finally you have read this article but it is your choice to act on it or to neglect it. The choice is always yours to make.
