They were busy working hard to clothe you, put a roof over your head, provide food for your stomach, and spend more money, ensuring you have a good education. What about your teachers? They, too, we're busy ensuring you have a good grade. They wanted you to pass with flying colours as this will bring credit to the institute. So, what is that one vital lesson?
To increase safety, move towards conflict. Yes, you heard me. You do not run away from conflict. Backing down, walking away, avoiding, and running away from any form, kind, type, and nature of conflict will not resolve it. Confronting conflict gives you the added advantage to analyse it and find a solution. You will learn more about yourself, about others, and life in general when you confront conflict with boldness.
The things you fear most will always materialise in your life. Because you have trained your mind to see conflict as unfavourable, no matter how hard you try, nothing good will come out of any conflict. It would help if you saw the conflict with a positive attitude. Conflict is like any negative event in your life where your response determines the outcome. You respond; you do not react. Most people get nervous in situations of conflict. They think of it as a sign that something is going wrong. Some leaders who lack confidence will begin to feel people will see them as a failure. It is so funny to find out that some very successful people create artificial conflict to promote their brand while others run and shy away from conflict.
People are not getting along. In self-governing organisations, a certain quantity of conflict is genuine and required. It's a sign that the group is giving and sharing leadership and decision-making. Being aware of this can help make conflict constructive rather than destructive. Some entrepreneurs create a crisis for their organisations to attract the news media and then deal with and overcome the crisis they created. They get free attention.
A life entirely depends on how you see things. Every negative is a positive. Every conflict is positive, and this will depend on how you see it. When bad things happen to you, it is your responsibility to make them good and not bad. You have to implement the mindset that nothing can hurt you. Events are not negative or positive. They are completely neutral. The universe and the world at large do not care about your fate. Things merely happen to you, but your mind chooses how to interpret your encounters. It would help if you adopted an attitude that is opposite to how most people think and operate.
According to conventional wisdom, an opportunity exists globally; if it comes our way and we grab it, it brings us money and power. This could be a particular job, the perfect fit for us; it could be a chance to create or join a new venture. It could be meeting the appropriate person. It could be a conflict. In any experience, it depends on being at the right place at the right time and having the proper skills to gain the benefit of this auspicious moment. There are lots of opportunities in life. You can only see them if you are prepared.
Broadly, there are five causes of conflict:
1. Information: Something was missing, incomplete or ambiguous.
2. Environment: Something in the environment leads to conflict.
3. Skills: People lack the appropriate skills for doing their work.
4. Values: A clash of personal values leads to conflict.
5. Identity: The participants' sense of identity puts them at odds with each other.
Every conflict has five phases:
1. Prelude to Conflict
2. Triggering event
3. Initiation phase
4. Differentiation phase
5. Resolution phase
Prelude to Conflict -Prelude to a conflict involves all the issues which possibly creates and cause a conflict among individuals. Lack of coordination, a different approach in thought, differences in interests, dissimilarity in the cultural, religious, and educational background are influential in developing a conflict.
Triggering Event – No one conflict can arise on its own. There has to be an event that triggers the conflict. To be in control, you need to be able to identify events that can trigger conflicts
Initiation Phase - The initiation phase is the phase when the conflict has already started. Abuses, heated arguments, verbal disagreements are warning alarms that reveal that the battle is already on.
Differentiation Phase - It is the point when the individuals express their differences against each other. At this stage, one can identify the root cause of the conflict.
Resolution Phase - A Conflict leads to nowhere if it isn't resolved. Those in conflict must understand the importance and purpose of compromise. Compromise is a sacrifice you must make if you want a conflict resolved. The resolution phase explores the different options to resolve the conflict.
Conflict causes a massive degree of anger, pain, frustration, discomfort, as well as sadness. Conflict is supposed to be a regular aspect of life, but most people do not see it that way. We are all different. We are from diverse geographical locations with distinct culture and intellectual backgrounds and various viewpoints. As a result, it is common for conflict between people. It is normal. What is abnormal is when there are no conflicts. There is a danger without conflict. In a working situation where people have disparate outlooks toward the same problems, disagreements are bound to happen. Once the disagreement surface, it is good to embrace it and deal with it.
To resolve a conflict:
1. You need to clarify the source of the conflict. You look for the root cause of the conflict and deal with the root.
2. If you must confront another party involved in the conflict, then you must honour and respect them. Find a safe and exclusive place to talk.
3. Listen attentively and let everyone has their say.
4. Do not assume but instead investigate the situation.
5. Be quick to forgive.
6. Define and agree on what the common goal is and determine ways to meet the common goal.
7. Agree on the best resolution and determine the responsibilities each party has in the resolution.
8. Evaluate how things are going and decide preventive strategies for the future. Never presume that the issue is persistent. Effective communication must dominate in the business.
In conclusion, conflict is part of our daily lives. You can disagree with your family, friends, or co-workers. But there are various conflict resolution steps you can embrace to ensure the issue is manageable. When conflict happens, do not avoid it or pretend nothing has happened. Embrace it with an open mind.
Your life's quality does not just depend on if you have conflicts since it is inevitable not to have one. The significance of your life hangs on how you respond to any conflict. Every conflict survives did because people participated in it.