story in Success Magazine and I believe the story is shared by Susan Kane the Chief Editor but I am not quite sure. I do remember the story because it made so much sense to me.
She went for an interview but felt tired and never really prepared as she would for that sort of interview. While waiting to be seen she decided to use the toilet only to discover the toilet was in a mess. She decided to clean, another lady was also cleaning and they went into a chat wondering why people will leave such a mess. Soon it was time for her interview only for her to find out that the other woman having the chat with her was one of the directors and the interviewer. I think she was told that she passed her interview in the toilet.
It was not just about washing the toilet but the communication and what they shared as they both have similar ideas and values about life. We meet people every day in our life; some are just passers while some are residents. Having conversations with a complete stranger needs lots of courage. We need to be positive in our attitude and approach in life. We never can tell what people are until we relate to them. Your success in life is four to six people away. What I mean is you know someone that knows someone and that someone knows someone else and this someone else knowns another someone and the ‘another’ someone holds a key to your breakthrough in life.
One of the most rewarding things in the entire world is to relate well with people. You can build great bridges, create a masterpiece in oil, compose an oratorio, write a bestseller, go to the moon, invent ingenious machinery; or do many other things—but nothing you accomplish is of much value unless it has relevance to other people.
To integrate these days you need people’s skill not just for work alone but in life. Having good people skills means maximizing effective and productive human interaction to everyone’s benefit. Having the ability to relate to others and their position or viewpoint is crucial in modern life. Sometimes being able to relate to others simply means that you’re willing to agree to disagree with mutual respect; letting them know you understand their position.
Here are some keys on how you can relate with anyone:
The Power of Listening
In other to relate and understand people and where they’re coming from and going to you need to be a good listener. Listening is a skill. You need to be able to focus when you are listening. It is not an act where you are in a hurry. You need to stay there and make the talker relax showing them through your concentration that you are interested in what they are saying. Listening is not asking questions or making suggestions.
In listening, attitude is far more important than technique. The greatest gift we give to someone whom we accompany in Focusing is a caring presence that is non-manipulative. Technique can be very helpful, but in the long run is of little consequence if this presence is missing. They want you to be present and not absent minded. The listening process involves five stages: receiving, understanding, evaluating, remembering, and responding. Active listening is a particular communication technique that requires the listener to provide feedback on what he or she hears to the speaker. Three main degrees of active listening are repeating, paraphrasing, and reflecting. It’s easy to mistake listening as a simple, passive task, but it requires more than just the ability to absorb information from someone else. Listening is a process, and an active one.
Listening is the most important part of communication, because if you fail to understand the message being expressed to you, you will also fail in providing a substantial and meaningful response. This is the root cause of many arguments, misunderstandings, and complications, whether at home, school, or work. Being able to take control of the listening process will turn you into a better communicator, overall.
Making Real Connections
Regardless of status or fame, people are people. You need to understand how to connect with them so you can be on the same page with them even if you don’t agree with their ideas and philosophy.
When you truly care you have made a huge step towards making the connection work. People are not foolish; they can see through you that easily. If you don’t have a genuine interest in the person with whom you’re trying to connect, don’t even bother.
Provide All the Help You Can
Every human needs help even the most powerful. Success is helping enough people get what they want in life. You shouldn’t neglect the opportunity to help anyone because you never know. Your actions shouldn’t be based on selfish interest.
Pay Ridiculous Attention
It’s nearly impossible to genuinely offer help if you don’t pay attention — I mean real attention. If you want to connect to specific people then you need to invest genuine time in learning what really matters to them and how you can help.
Connect With People Close To Them
This is called networking and it is not just done only in social network. You can connect with anyone through what they love and adore. It could be a book, a friend, a pet, movies, cars, etc. the list is endless.
Appeal to Their Emotions
Here I am not talking about manipulation but understanding their emotional state and being kind to them in that mood. They will be open to you when you do this.
Make real friends
Think about how you’ve made the friends you have. That’s all this is. You only make friends with people you genuinely want in your life. The same rule should go for bigger-name connections. Don’t over-think it. Be human, be helpful and most humans will happily be human in return, regardless of who they are.
Send birthday cards. Mail your favourite book with a signed personal note from you on the inside flap. Send them your family Christmas card. Be genuinely helpful. You’d be surprised how the simplest things actually never get done. Being memorable isn’t as hard as some think!
You have all it takes to be friendly. If you want friends all it requires from you is to be friendly. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world. We might feel safe but we won’t ever feel secure without emotional connections. Poets, playwrights, and psychiatrists agree: people really do need people to survive.